Going on to Perfection...

9/11 Reflections

2011-09-11T15:38:00.006-04:00

I was invited to speak at Haverhill's 9/11 Service of Remembrance that was held at noon on the steps of city hall. It was my first city function, so I agonized for a bit as to what I was going to say that would be meaningful and invite people into deeper reflection. I decided that in the end, my experience and thoughts would have to suffice (but isn't that what each of us has to offer anyway? So often we think we have nothing to say, but we all have a story and experiences to share). I decided to end with a poem written by a colleague (you can find it and many other reflections of his at Unfolding Light), because I thought it did an excellent job at sharing the hope and beauty that can arise out of our broken world.

I hope you enjoy my thoughts - and would love to hear your own.

I find it difficult to put into words the breadth and depth of human emotions experienced 10 years ago as we saw the towers fall, and watched the endless news reports stream from radios and televisions, and heard story after story of valiant rescues and human loss. On that day - and in the days to follow - we saw the best of humankind as neighbor reached out hand to neighbor and as people rallied around those who had lost loved ones in the tragedy. But we also saw the worst of humankind - the fear that gave way to hate, the violence and revenge that took hold of hearts, and the clambering need for retaliation.

10 years ago, I was a college freshman in the midst of the second week of classes. I had just arrived at the dining to eat breakfast when I saw people gathered around the television set that was mounted to the ceiling. I didn’t have a chance to ask anyone what was going on before I saw the second tower get hit. It was a surreal moment as we watched - feeling at once how distant and remote we all were from these events, being in central Maine...and yet how close we were as we struggled to make sense and meaning out of what had happened.

That evening, many of us on campus gathered together to share anger, pain, and grief. We gathered with questions - how do we make meaning out of what happened? What does this mean for how we live our lives - what does this mean for how we treat one another - especially those who are different than us? Why did something like this happen to us?

As I sat and listened to the dialogue around me, I experienced our common humanity. I saw all the peoples and cultures and faiths represented in that room, and realized in a very powerful way that we are all brothers and sisters. And as students began to express their emotions - the hurt and the grief and the anger - I learned what it meant to share in a way that did not resort to violence, and to listen to one another across differences. And I learned that all of us have a story to share - no matter who we are...no matter who we come from...no matter what faith we profess.

9/11 shook the foundations of our communities, of our nation, and of our world. I believe in many ways, we all still struggle with what that day meant for us - and we struggle with how the world is dramatically different now than it was 10 years ago. But I also believe that through the doubt, and the fear, and the darkness - through the wars and loss of life and grief - that we always have the hope for peace, the hope for forgiveness and humility, the hope that this broken, fragile world can be made new and whole...and the hope that we have the opportunity to participate in the creation of that wholeness.

I’d like to end by sharing with you a poem entitled “What the Silence Says,” written by Steve Garnaas-Holmes, a colleague of mine at St. Matthew's United Methodist Church in Acton, Massachusetts.

When the towers of what you know collapse,
what do you know?
Beside the great abyss that has swallowed
what you cherished,
where do you stand?
Before the darkness of war
closed the eyes of your heart,
what did you see?
What does the vast, swirling silence say?

That those who cause pain and those who receive it
fall into the same grave.
That lost in the wreckage every time is
the only God worth having.
That we have seen days dark enough
for resurrection.
That wisdom is born of vulnerability.
That evil is not a monstrous power
but a sinuous thread,
the will to disregard
in service of our fear.
That there is in all of us a great hole,
under a pall of smoke and sorrow,
in which we meet each other
and know each other deeply.

That not victory, but tenderness
will save the world.
That before the dust falls upon us,
we who ourselves are dust will have chosen
to be people of might or people of grace,
one or the other;
and that it is in choosing that we are human,
and in choosing well that we are blessed.
That we are not worthy of our self-confidence
and yet God, still weeping,
resolutely trusts us
with her most fragile hopes.
That our flesh is sackcloth.
That we who are covered with the ash
of our failure, our fear of ourselves,
are yet beautiful,
that we who are certainly lost
can point the way.

It is my hope that we - still covered in ashes as we remember, can point the way to a brighter future - filled with hope, filled with grace...and filled with peace.

Here we go again...

2011-08-03T21:11:00.003-04:00

I am contemplating, again, returning to blogging. Whether this means a return to this blog in particular, or the creation of a new one, I have not yet decided. There are certain advantages to starting over and fresh starts, but it's also a good discipline to continue what has already been started.

I am hoping that this sorely-needed vacation that I am on (until next week!) will help set some healthier patterns that will allow me to use this space more productively for reflection, to share current knitting projects, cooking adventures, and thoughts about life in general. Or....just what I'm up to, even if it's not particularly deep.

Exhausted

2010-10-06T16:56:00.003-04:00

My grandmother passed away late last week. It all happened rather suddenly; she had gone into the hospital with vomiting because her stomach wasn't digesting food very well - the next thing we knew she was under sedation and unresponsive after some complications with a few procedures. I was able to drive down to Ohio with my husband and my mom to be with my dad and uncle to say our goodbyes, which was a blessing. But it totally wasn't something I expected to be dealing with...not that death ever is something you really expect, but in some cases the writing is on the wall well before the actual event. With Nammie, it wasn't like that.

I just got back from almost a week in Ohio and I am drained - physically and emotionally. Just so very tired. It was a good trip in light of everything though. It was neat starting to go through the house and see everything she kept. My favorite discovery (besides her cache of cross stitch) was a batch of letters that my mom had written to her when my siblings and I were small and when long distance phone calls were more expensive. My mom wrote about the different things we were up to as young children and it was pretty cool to read a few of them. And of course, photos of all us grandchildren were everywhere. My cousin did a fabulous job with the photo collage and I loved seeing the pictures of her throughout the years.

It's sad, but I'll see her again someday...

Make it so...

2010-07-24T18:44:00.002-04:00

I feel the need to pause and restart this thing again (again and again) and hopefully sustain the momentum of regular posting. As much as I hate to say it, seminary killed this blog, and recovering from seminary has kept it in the grave. Right now, I don't feel like I have much to offer in the way of insights because I'm too much on the move to stop and think. I want that to change. I dream of a slower pace of life where I can take stock of my surroundings, chronicle a story or two, and continue to live the adventure God has me on right now.

So I've been yearning for reflection for awhile now. Maybe it's time to move there once again. Maybe I've got to keep my eyes open for opportunities - to look for those places of connection, of God showing up, and of me being aware enough to catch it happening. After all, that's who I want to be, in the end.

To start, I will give a general life update. I'm coming up on my third anniversary of being married next month. Soon, I will no longer be in my "mid-twenties." I am still living in this grand experiment called intentional community and loving it - even after a year (I have a sneaking suspicion that we are now out of the honeymoon phase though). The Vine - this experiment of church - is continuing to grow...despite all of us, really. Because honestly - we don't have a clue, and as soon as we think we do, God shows us otherwise. Good Shepherd is Good Shepherd and is growing in its own right.

I keep up with my flute music when I can, and knitting has taken over my spare time when I'm in a space to enjoy it. I've planted a garden this year and it's growing - again, despite me - and the vegetables are delicious. Watermelons are the next experiment. Perhaps too late to plant them, but we'll see.

Vacation starts in mid-August, incidentally on my wedding anniversary. We have two and a half blessed weeks off. To get there...well, the road is busy. I'm doing a middle school camp for a week in August, and getting everything in order for our fall push at GSUMC. Lots. To. Do.

That's the thumbnail sketch. Perhaps if all three of you who continue to read this thing post a comment or two (or harass me enough), I'll post again soon. :-)

Knitting...

2010-05-04T16:26:00.004-04:00

I never realized how much of an addiction knitting could become. Ever since I've decided to take these skills more seriously back in December, I haven't been able to get enough. Ravelry has made it worse, admittedly, as there are thousands of patterns, hundreds of yarns, and way too many projects that I want to get started on.

Currently, I'm working on knitting a laptop case for my new netbook using this pattern, and a pullover based on this one. Of course, there are about three or four other projects that I have cast on that are on the back burner.

But the thing I've discovered that I love to make most are....socks! Below are some socks I've made for my husband....I love sock yarn!

Resurrection Time

2010-04-20T09:25:00.003-04:00

I've neglected this thing for far too long. I tend to forget that blogging really is a spiritual exercise for me and so I am resurrecting this blog after a five-month hiatus. All two of you who regularly check this thing will be glad of a little extra reading material. :-)

I've been thinking a bit about mission lately - not just because it's what I eat, sleep, and breathe these days, but because it was the focus of my district's recent Bishop's Day and because of the upcoming Change the World weekend sponsored by my denomination.

I've decided I don't like the phrase "reaching out into our communities." It implies that there is a central location that we are reaching out into (namely, the four walls of a church building). It implies that there are people who are "in here" and "out there" and the only reason we "in here" are reaching "out there" is to bring those "out there" "in here." It implies that the church really isn't that connected to the community if we have to designate a special time that is set apart to do our good deed for the week.

Now, I know that these things aren't intended, and that there are many, many churches out there who use this language because it does help them engage with their communities more fully and that's great. But for me, the language still falls short of really communicating what we as the hands and feet of Christ in this world are supposed to do and be for our neighbors.

As is usually the case, I was musing about this in the shower. I was thinking of the ways different people in the room during the bishop's day were suggesting they interact with places like the library or the police station or neighborhood parks...lifting up activities like reading weekly to children or throwing a spontaneous block party -- all fantastic ways to engage with your local community. And I thought...these activities aren't really about "reaching out" but about "living in" - living more fully in your community.

I believe that part of what it means to follow Jesus, is to live more fully in your community, acting as a follower of Jesus would act. It means finding ways to bless others while you do the activities that would normally interest you. You don't need a special outreach to read to kids in the neighborhood, and you don't need a special outreach to pick up trash or to give clothes to a person in need. All you need are the eyes to see what's going on around you - ways that God is already working in your community to bring about life and joy...and jump on in to be a part of it. It doesn't take a church committee to authorize people to go out anywhere...all it takes is people willing to make a deeper commitment to God to live in their community as Jesus would want them to live.

So I propose a language change - how can you live in your community more fully?

Still alive....

2009-11-03T22:47:00.002-05:00

I am alive. That seems to be a theme in my most recent postings (oh, wait...what recent postings?) I've decided I need to get back into this discipline because, well, I miss it and it helps keep me focused and reflective. I've been far too reactionary lately because I've been sick, tired, and far too busy to even breathe...which is probably why I'm sick and on my 2nd cold in a month. Smart.

The Vine is good, Good Shepherd is good, living in community is good, the husband is good, I am...in a funk. To which, my husband responds, in the vein of "when life gives you lemons...": when you're in a funk, get funky.

Prayer Campaign Begins Today!

2009-05-18T20:21:00.003-04:00

Day 1 of the UMC Young Clergy campaign to pray for the United Methodist Church begins today. You can follow these 40 days of prayer on the prayer blog (http://umcyoungclergy.com/prayer) and find the first prayer posted here.

What encourages me the most about this effort is its focus on renewal through prayer. Oftentimes, we think that new strategies or new models of church is going to be what grows us or saves us from this decline we find ourselves in. Really, we need to be about reengaging with what the Holy Spirit is already doing in our midst and in our world, and get on board with that. Such sensitivity to God's movement only comes through prayer - confessing where we've fallen short, asking for the grace to move forward, and seeing what emerges out of the mix.

I have great hopes for my denomination, even though some days I get bogged down with my frustration with it. It hurts to see how our apathy doesn't just affect us, but all the broken, hurting people who need a word of hope -- who need the love of Jesus and life transformation.

But I think we'll get there...and prayer is just the start.

Praying for the United Methodist Church

2009-05-05T14:35:00.002-04:00

Social media is an incredible thing. Through the UMC Young Clergy's twitter feed, I came to know about this prayer campaign idea a few people had about the United Methodist Church. It's simple really - we talk a lot about renewal in our denomination, but why not pray! This 40 day campaign, starting on May 18th, is a concerted effort on the part of young clergy throughout our denomination to pray for the United Methodist Church and its renewal. To learn more, check out the blog at http://umcyoungclergy.com/prayer!

Resurrection

2009-03-29T22:03:00.002-04:00

No, this is not an early Easter reflection, this is more a statement (yet again) about the renewed sense of intentionality with which I want to write in this blog. I've fallen short time and time again!

In any case, I'm going to carve out some time to write each day and hold myself to posting at least twice per week. I've got some great fodder for a couple posts; Matt, Farrah, Ben, and I just got back from a road trip to visiting Westwinds in Jackson, MI and Hot Metal Bridge in Pittsburgh, PA. Both are doing some fantastic and creative ministry in their settings and in their contexts, but I will write more later (I promise).

But for now, a quick poll. Should I choose to revamp this blog or should I create a new one?

I'm not dead yet....

2009-03-06T19:37:00.001-05:00

Wow. I went to post on another blog and I did a double-take when I saw the "Jan 5" as my latest post date for this blog. Sad. Well, I have not died, I've just been busy with school, church, new ministry plant - you know, the usual. Lent makes things that much more insane for us pastor-types too, and we're doing double duty with a Lenten Bible Study and a New Membership class. We're *real* smart.

Anyhow, just a shout out so y'all know I'm around...

Drat!

2009-01-05T10:32:00.002-05:00

Missed a day. :-(

Today, I'm going to learn how to community organize. I'm taking a week-long class at Drew sponsored by Industrial Areas Foundation (IAF). It looks like it's going to be an interesting week -- expect an account!

Change

2009-01-03T22:01:00.002-05:00

I'm preaching tomorrow; we're starting a series on how the culture has changed and what the church needs to do to respond faithfully to that change. I'm using the passage in Corinthians where Paul talks about being all things to all people - to the Jews he was as a Jew, to the Gentiles he was as a Gentile, etc...

We'll see how it goes to set up the rest of the series.

Day 2

2009-01-02T21:04:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, Ben and I explored the local Whole Foods to see what we could see. I'm excited to start eating more healthy foods, even if it means the grocery bill will be a little higher. We each decided to try some new things to experiment with - Ben got organic soda and I got veggie straws (which are really quite delicious!) We'll have to see if this change in lifestyle will be sustainable...I certainly hope so!

New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-01T22:26:00.002-05:00

1. I will update this blog more often. My goal for this month is every day, but normally, twice a week will be good.

2. I will exercise more and eat more healthily. This means (at the very least) getting 10,000 steps in every day, doing push ups three times a week (with the goal of being able to do 100 by the end of the year), and attempting to eat a vegetarian diet (with exceptions for hospitality).

3. Journal once or twice a week as a spiritual discipline. This also includes spending more time in prayer and devotion.

4. Organizing my life. Keep nice, clean records of things I spend money on (also helpful for tax purposes!) and file important documents, church stuff, and other personal things neatly in folders -- for which I will need a better filing cabinet. This also entails getting rid of extraneous junk - papers I no longer need, etc. This also entails organizing and updating my address book and syncing everything to my PDA. Possible computer clean-up as well to remove old files.

5. Encourage my creative side.

I think that will suffice, don't you?

Rev Gal Blog Pal Friday Five: Countdown to Christmas Edition

2008-12-19T10:05:00.004-05:00

From RevGalBlogPals:

It's true.

There are only five full days before Christmas Day, and whether you use them for shopping, wrapping, preaching, worshiping, singing or traveling or even wishing the whole darn thing were over last Tuesday, there's a good chance they will be busy ones. So let's make this easy, if we can: tell us five things you need to accomplish before Christmas Eve.

1. Preach a sermon on Sunday. The bulletins and everything else for morning worship is done. Except for my sermon. But, it's only Friday... I'm going with Isaiah 9:2-7, even though it's technically the Christmas Eve text. We've had a very non-lectionary (and very non-adventy) advent; at least it feels that way to me.

2. Wrap some gifts that we're donating to help a family out in need this Christmas. We're not doing gifts ourselves, but that doesn't mean we can't help out people who really would like presents this year!

3. Decorate/Clean/Make Presentable the House. The Open Parsonage Christmas Thingy is tomorrow and we need to not look completely like poor students with dorm furniture and books and papers everywhere for at least 3 hours. And like Christmas is somewhat around the corner.

4. Put together the Christmas Eve service. Fortunately, the service itself doesn't look too difficult to put together.

5. Make Chex Mix! Christmas isn't Christmas without Chex Mix. Well, that and those nuts in the shell that you crack and are so delicious.

I'm going to take the liberty of adding a bonus question: What is one thing that won't get done before Christmas?

Sending Christmas cards. Again. I'm such a loser. :-P

I blinked...

2008-12-18T19:00:00.002-05:00

...and it was one week to Christmas. How did that happen? The good news is the 30% off a bunch of Christmas decorations from Target and now the house looks like there might possibly be a holiday coming around the corner.

Really, it's been one of those weeks. Since last Friday: A hard death in the life of the congregation, losing power for four days, having some idiot kick up a rubber brick that smashes into your windshield, and cleaning your entire house for the parsonage Christmas open house. Oy. Praise God that professors abound in mercy this time of year - two incompletes - check, check. I can't think about school until after Christmas.

Christmas. I'm not ready for it. For the past eight years I haven't been ready for it. I am convinced that student life is not conducive to a spiritual advent. Well - at least not in how the season is intended. I surely have had a season of hope and expectation and waiting - for these darn papers to be done and the semester to end! Jesus hasn't really entered my thoughts as of late, unless it's in some desperate prayer -- Dear Jesus, please let the lights come back on -- or as some abstract theological concept -- the Jesus-event re-presented in the Communion meal infuses our own moments of becoming...

But Jesus didn't come when the world was ready. One of my (new) favorite poems is from Madeline L'engle called "First Coming." Essentially, God came down when we needed it - not when we were prepared for it. God came down when life was messy, when things were left undone and unsaid, when people were so much in pain they couldn't find God. And so for me this season, Jesus isn't in the pretty snow or the beautiful carols or the decked out house or in the little manger or in the finished to-do list - but Jesus is in the vibrant chaos, the little light beckoning me out of the darkness, the abundant grace I receive each day to keep moving forward. Jesus comes in the midst of my mess - in the midst of the world's mess - to bring hope, light, and peace.

What I Want For Christmas

2008-11-21T08:51:00.007-05:00

In recent years, I've honestly been a bit baffled by the consumeristic bruhaha that surrounds the Christmas season. I walked into Michael's craft store the other week and Christmas decorations lined the shelves and it was barely after Halloween. I've already seen countless television ads for Holiday sales and jewelry and cars (because all of us can afford to give our loved one a new car for Christmas, right?), and it all leaves me thinking that somehow, somewhere, we got Christmas all wrong. We get lost in the insanity of the season, thinking that it won't be Christmas without the gifts underneath the tree, the mounds of cookies and goodies, or the ten billion cards we are obligated to send out to our third cousins twice removed we've never met (though - I am planning on doing cards this year!! I swear!!)

Really - It won't be Christmas without Christ. That is sort of the point, isn't it? That Christ came down to be with us - Emmanuel - God With Us. God's presence didn't come with fanfare, with loads of presents or important people. God came in the midst of a scandal - an unwed teen mother who nobody would take in giving birth in the least sanitary of places, who then becomes a refugee in the land of Egypt. Not pristine, not perfect and put together...and not consumeristic.

So why do we celebrate Christmas - Christ's Birth Day - with the giving of gifts when this day signifies the greatest gift of all that any one of us could ever hope to unwrap? When ever gift we get pales in comparison to this wonderful inbreaking of God's radical presence here with us on Earth?

This is why I want something different for Christmas. Sure, it would be nice to get gifts. I can think of a whole slew of things that I want, because there's nothing that I really need. I can also think of really thoughtful gifts to get for my friends and family; things I know that they will like and appreciate. But to me, that isn't the point of Christmas anymore. If Christmas is about God's earth-shattering, power-shifting, turning-the-world-upside-down presence with us - in us - then shouldn't we share that presence with others? Shouldn't that be our gift this season - to be with those who need the gift of presence more than anything else?

So my plan is to do this: instead of giving gifts to people I love, I'm going to give them stories instead. Stories about my encounters with people who need a reminder that God loves them. During this holiday season, I hope to maybe play a little Christmas concert at a nursing home. I hope to pray with people at Ruth's House. I hope to help bring Christmas to a family in need. I hope to pay for someone's groceries. I hope to have people over for dinner. I hope to sit with someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

And I'd like these stories in return. Instead of getting gifts from people, I'd rather that they go out and do likewise in their own communities - to share the gift of presence to those who need it most.

This is a joint venture that I am participating in with another couple - Matt and Farrah - who Ben and I will be joining with in this new ministry venture in Haverhill. Watch the video we put together to see even more reasons why we want to give the Gift of Presence this Christmas season. If you are interested, then please - join us!

Big Fat "F"

2008-11-16T17:45:00.003-05:00

Ok, so I fail in writing a post everyday for NaBloPoMo (maybe I would have had a better shot at NaNoWriMo). In any case, life happens and sometimes internet is difficult to find and sometimes...I'm just lazy. There. I confess.

The list of things to do continues to pile up - just like the leaves in our backyard. It's that time of year, afterall. Time to start on the term papers and the stewardship campaign and the planning for Advent and the Christmas cards and the making up of a class from 2 years ago.

So far, I'm surviving. I've lately felt the need to start watching my hours more carefully - both at school and at church. Well, mainly church (to be honest); I could probably afford to spend a little bit more time on some of my schoolwork for certain classes *coughs*UMHistory*coughs*. Not that I'm in danger of earning that Big Fat "F" in that class...but I could invest a bit more of myself there.

Missed A Day

2008-11-11T21:47:00.002-05:00

Drat. I missed posting yesterday. Really, I have no excuse since it was my day off; or perhaps that is my excuse. I was a blob all day and I loved it. After the long week, I deserved a day where I could shut off my brain and where the hardest decision I had to make was whether or not to watch another episode of Heroes on hulu.com.

This tends to be the pattern of my Sabbaths, for better or for worse. On these days I really lack the energy to do much that is worthwhile. Getting out of bed is a challenge, and usually the pattern of the day is eat...sleep...eat...sleep....eat and sleep some more.

And then the cycle begins all over again. By Monday evening I'm thinking about Tuesday morning and what needs to get packed, which books need to be taken and read by when, what I need to throw in the laundry to be washed for the end of the week, and what we need to eat for lunch the next day.

For the most part, it's a comfortable cycle, although it's hard to focus on church work in NJ and hard to focus on schoolwork in MA. And it all revolves around Monday, my day off, my blessed Sabbath.

Grace Happens

2008-11-09T19:35:00.004-05:00

Nothing ever turns out quite like you expect it to. I expected a smooth morning, even though we didn't have the bulletins ready and I needed one final sermon edit. Ben even took over my Sunday School class this morning so that I could have a little more time to format the bulletin and print it off and copy it.

Silly me, I should have realized that this morning drifted closer to the edge of chaos than I had hoped. But somehow, in the midst of it all, grace happened and everything was OK.

First, I didn't get my computer up and ready for the sermon until halfway through the Prayer of Confession. Ben started the service, and I'm sitting on the floor in my robe (thankfully hidden by the choir), praying that my machine doesn't lock up and that everything loaded properly and there were no extraneous programs open. As I'm doing this, I'm highlighting a second copy of my sermon so that Ben knows when to change slides when I'm speaking.

Next comes...hearing the phone ring. Actually, it rang several times during the service (only one was a relevant call pertaining to the baptism). I'm thinking, "shoot! Why today of all days do we have to leave the doors to the sanctuary open???" Admittedly, I made this decision as a way of being hospitable to late-comers. It certainly wasn't the smartest choice to make today.

We also had to do a little shuffling of the service. I do my best when I'm preaching to preach towards the Table, since Communion immediately follows the sermon. So what do you do when the baptism gets moved unexpectedly in between the two? Go with the flow as best as you can. :-) In the end, it worked out very well and we ended up with, according to many denominations, is the "proper" form of celebrating the Eucharist immediately after baptism. Actually, the United Methodist Hymnal actually suggests moving to Communion afterwards as well.

But the baptism itself went well, and the child I baptized looked so adorable in his white tux - and he didn't even fuss at all when I scooped water on his forehead. He took it all in, observing the congregation as I walked him up and down the aisle, showing him his new aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters and grandmothers and grandfathers in Christ.

Other things were slightly off kilter as well -- like somehow between last week and this week our last Communion rice cake (for non-gluten eaters)...and then once we sent someone to the store to get one, we forget to put it out. So I have to ask the first person in line during Communion to go back and get the rice cake....

And yet...grace happens.

Saturday Night Fever

2008-11-08T20:11:00.003-05:00

No, this isn't the BeeGees, this is the mad dash to the finish line. Worship in t-minus 14 hours, one sermon and one Sunday School class to go. Oh, and one touched-up powerpoint. I'm trying really, really hard not to look beyond Sunday morning to the pile of schoolwork that awaits me after worship (and after my great Patriot escape), and I'm praying that I won't break Sabbath (pray for me!!!!!). Sometimes, we just have a week where we aren't quite dealt enough time to finish everything, no matter how that time gets managed (especially if it gets managed poorly).

In other news, I'll be performing my first infant baptism tomorrow morning, well...my first ever any kind of baptism. I'm wicked excited! I remember my worship professor's words echoing in my ears: "be careful, babies are slippery!"

Quick Update

2008-11-07T20:15:00.001-05:00

I'm learning lots of new things here at the New England School of Congregational Development. Internet time is scarce; apparently the network we could get in our room isn't letting us on anymore, and I'm here stealing a moment or two downstairs before I have to run back up and start editing and working on my sermon. Yay.

So...Paul Nixon gave some great talks, I learned a lot about small group ministry from a workshop, and we're putting the finishing touches on our presentation on postmodern churches for tomorrow. Yay!

2012?

2008-11-06T12:50:00.001-05:00

Yesterday's comic from xkcd made me laugh:

Seven Random Things

2008-11-05T14:28:00.004-05:00

I was going to write a post sharing some of my pre-sermon thoughts on stewardship, but really...this is way more fun for a daily post. My friend Jen over at Fields of Gold tagged me for this one!

Seven Random Rules

Here are the rules:
Post the rules on your blog.
Write 7 random things about yourself.
Tag 7 people at the end of your post.
Pass on the tag.
—

7 things:

1. I've never had stitches before. I most certainly plan on keeping it this way, because I get dizzy and nauseous at the slightest hint of pain or any unexpected and new medical procedure. I mean, anyone who faints when she gets eyedrops has a problem. Whenever I have kids, this pain thing is so going to be an issue.

2. I love Gregorian chant, early polyphonic music, and love to sing it. Those who know me well might not be too surprised about this, even though right now, I'm listening to Two Step by Dave Matthews Band. A far cry from chant, but still quite enjoyable.

3. Given a choice between something salty and something sweet, I will more often than not gravitate towards salty. I really don't know why this is the case; maybe because growing up, dessert was never a big thing in my family. Sometimes I fear that I'm losing ground when it comes to my ability to connect with my ice-cream eating relatives... ;-)

4. Not so random, but I procrastinate. Horribly. I think this is because most of the time, I don't actually want to do the work I'm supposed to do. Right now, it's because I have an awful case of "bitter-grad/seminary-student-itis" and because church ministry is way more fun. Or...well, read my intro to this post. Oops.

5. When I get angry, stressed, or irritated, my favorite way to calm myself down is to do housework. It can be cooking dinner, sweeping, doing laundry -- anything. It helps me feel like I have control over something in my life.

6. I want a nose-piercing. I'm waiting for the opportune moment (really, I'm working up the nerve to do it; see #1 above). I've wanted one ever since my freshman year of college (or maybe it was my sophomore year) when I saw my Freshman Fellowship leader with one and it looked just perfect. I'd go for a small stud; I think it would be cute.

7. I love candles, but I never really get around to lighting them. Many years of living under the oppression of college dorms and grad housing made me forget that really, it's OK to light a candle in my own home. Really.

Hmmm. As far as tagging people go, I have no idea who reads this regularly, so I'm going to tag a few folks I think do, and if you aren't tagged, (1) please don't be offended; and (2) consider yourself tagged. And leave a comment if you do this! :-)

1. D.S. Mike

2. Beth Quick

3. Dogblogger

4. Emerging Here

5. Life in the Way

6. Lured to the Journey

7. You!

I Voted

2008-11-04T19:06:00.002-05:00

Bright and early at 7 AM this morning, I did my civic duty and voted. Sadly, I didn't get an "I voted" sticker, and I didn't have an opportunity to get my free cup of coffee at Starbucks (not that that's the reason why I voted anyway!) Really, aside from the presidential race (well, in Massachusetts, that's not going to be any surprise) and the three ballot questions (income tax law was the biggie), there weren't very many contested races (like anyone is going to take the senate seat away from John Kerry, and there wasn't anything really in terms of municipal seats).

I was worried about long lines at our polling place. There was only a 10 minute wait (max, maybe it was really more like 5 minutes) and from what I could tell with the comments being made, this was unusual; generally there is no line! I wonder if things changed during the day; basically once we voted we hopped back in the car to zip down to NJ.

Now I'm settling in to watch the returns (and at 10, the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert special on Comedy Central). I always find it amusing that they call states with 10% of precincts reporting; at this point, they've called Kentucky for McCain and New Hampshire for Obama. And it's fun to hop around to different stations to see the slants and the biases and the different numbers...and all the different senate and house races that get examined and

We're having a little Election get-together to watch the results and commiserate or celebrate together. My plan is to stay up to see someone declared president. Perhaps it'll take a long time, or maybe not. But it should be fun nevertheless!

What a Marriage is Made Of

2008-11-03T17:40:00.002-05:00

I woke up last night around 3 AM to the sound of my dear husband getting ready to go out. My mind was rather foggy, but he mentioned something about his stomach not feeling well and that he was going out to get some antacid and some ginger ale to help settle it. That was before he ran back to the bathroom. Still dazed, I got out of bed and decided that I would go out instead. So I trudged out to the car, drove to the 24-hour CVS down the road, purchased more medication than was probably needed, and came back to the house.

When I came back, he was still feeling pretty awful. I suppose I could have easily gone back to bed, but I decided to stay up with him. In those moments, I realized that being married is about the good warm fuzzies, and cuddling on the couch, and all that wonderful stuff. But, it's also about being up with your spouse when they're sick as a dog...and even though you can't really do anything to help them, your presence is enough.

Today I've been waiting on him hand and foot (for the most part...he surprised me by doing some cleaning while I was out on a walk!). I must admit, I enjoy taking care of him (not to say I'm having fun at his expense!).

All Saints Sunday

2008-11-02T16:34:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite "holidays" in the church year is All Saints Day/Sunday. It gives me and everyone a chance to remember the people who have made a difference in our lives; both those who are still alive today and those who have gone before us. Today in worship we emphasized the latter; the congregation has gone through a major grieving period and I felt it was important to acknowledge this and remember the names of all of those people who were special to us who have passed away. We set up a card table with a whole bunch of tealights and after a short meditation, I invited folks to come forward and name a saint and say a word or two about that person. It was truly amazing to see the number of people come forward and - as was later told to me - have the picture on the rotating powerpoint often be that same person being lifted up as the candle was lit.

I know I am surrounded by saints all the time. My cloud of witnesses is big. I shared yesterday some pictures of my grandfather - who was probably the most loving and patient man I have ever met. The picture of him with a bird perched on his finger says it all; being able to hold still long enough and be so peaceful for such a length of time as to allow a bird to feel safe enough to land on his finger is a feat in and of itself! I remember dancing around in the smoke of his pipe, chasing it around and enjoying the smell of it. I remember when I would go shopping with my grandparents; my grandmother and I would be halfway through the store and Papa would still be wandering around, taking time out to look at different things and be curious about them - didn't matter what it was! I remember his messy workbench with wires and half-open electrical contraptions strewn about. I also remember all of his gadgets that he had throughout the house (mostly in the basement, though!) - like a pair of dolphins rotating around in a circle, powered by the induced current a changing magnetic field makes.

Sometimes I feel bad for not having the opportunity to get to know him better. We lived so far away and we only got to see him and Nammie about once a year; twice if we were lucky! But I know he continues to watch me as I grow...and I hope that he can be proud of me! (I'm sure he is, but...yeah. :-) )

NaBloPoMo

2008-11-01T12:09:00.006-04:00

So, it's National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo), and I've decided to do this instead of NaNoWriMo, largely because being a pastor and being a seminary student means I have lots to write without adding the extra pressure. I already blog, and I'd like to become more consistent about it so...there we go. NaNoWriMo is on my horizons for next year though, once I don't have at least 20 pages to write and research for class. I'll still have the sermons, but those can be managed. Mostly.

Honestly, right now I am procrastinating. I'm preaching tomorrow - well, really it's a meditation for All Saints Sunday. My plan is to give a short message about the "cloud of witnesses" that surrounds us, then give people an opportunity to share stories about the saints in their lives that have gone before, complete with candle lighting and pictures. I hope it will be powerful; our church community has recently gone through a lot of grief and loss, and the aim of this is to provide a way for the whole church to remember together both the saints of the church and the saints in our own lives that have impacted and made a difference to us.

I can think of several people who have been saints to me. Some I have already wrote about, like Hillie Cass (and a wee bit about her husband Malcolm in there). But as I put together my service powerpoint, I thought a lot about my grandfather (whose picture us below).

"His eye is on the Sparrow, and I know He watches me."

More thoughts to come about my grandfather...

Because really, who hasn't wanted a vampire for a boyfriend?

2008-10-28T19:34:00.002-04:00

Ok, I have to be honest. I haven't been updating recently, not because I've been insanely busy, not because I haven't had anything to write about, not because the threat of impending term papers are starting to loom dangerously on the horizon and I've been frantically researching and exerting my creative writing energy in that general direction. No, I've been lax in my blogging because...of Twilight.

I must confess, I am obsessed. This past weekend I devoured not only the last two books in the saga, but the unfinished 5th book available on Stephanie Meyer's website. My obsession is so bad, I've even started dreaming in the Twilight world. No, my husband is not figured as Edward Cullen and I am not Isabella Swan, but vampires of a benevolent sort walk around in my dreams. I think usually I am one (but I never get around to hunting).

I don't know why these books hold such a fascination for me. Maybe because I'm not that far out of high school and teenage emo drama sucks me in. Maybe I've harbored a secret desire for a vampire boyfriend all my life without knowing it (sorry, Ben). Maybe I just need a new viable world to escape into from time to time.

Whatever the case, I'm hooked. So hooked, that I'm drooling over the movie release in November, have downloaded Twilight wallpaper for my laptop, and Ben's making fun of me for my obsession (though he's reading the books too, so...there.)

So for anyone who hasn't read these books - read them. They're fun, light, and easily devourable (even the longer ones).

End of the Week

2008-10-11T21:03:00.003-04:00

You know how most people look forward to Fridays? To the end of the work week and to a little bit of R & R on the weekend?

That's how I feel about Mondays, my blessed day of rest. Especially on Saturday nights, especially on those Sundays before I preach. Not that I don't enjoy worship, and leading a congregation. But on Saturday night, Sunday looms large on the horizon. I want my sermon finished, the bulletins done, my things for Sunday gathered neatly by the door (because if I don't do it, I'll forget them), the powerpoint finished with the perfect images...and the list goes on.

It's on Saturday nights that I'm struck by the incredible amount of energy that goes into the Sunday morning "event." It's the culmination of the pastor's work week; everything that has gone before has led up to getting ready for that one hour (or hour-and-a-half) on Sunday. Half of our "half-time" status at this church goes into thinking about and planning for worship. And it's on nights like these when I wonder if is really how things should be.

Why is it that the bulk of our time goes into preparing worship and not going out into the community, meeting people, making disciples, forming leaders, equipping the laity? How come so much of what we do is performance based rather than relational? Sunday morning worship rarely facilitates relationship - with God for some, with other people not at all.

But for now, it's about the Sundays and the Saturday nights and looking forward to the Mondays.

Baby Squirrel!

2008-10-07T11:47:00.005-04:00

I love fall. There's just something in the air and in the changing of the leaves that makes me glad I'm alive. Last week in NJ, we had a few beautiful autumn days that weren't too cold and so I decided that it would be a sin to study indoors. Drew has a beautiful patio with tables and chairs and a nice sitting wall around a small garden and a fountain, and this was the perfect spot to do a bit of reading before my 4 PM class. Several others had decided that such a spot would be the perfect place to study, and all was going well...until a few of us got distracted by squeaking coming over by the tree. Curious, I drifted over to the sitting wall (along with another student), and discovered two adorable baby squirrels chasing each other around the tree. I got out my camera to take a few pictures, and as I did so, one of the squirrels became just as curious about me as I was about it! It came right over and was trying to climb the short wall, but it wasn't able to make it over the lip. It clung there instead, and I was able to get this great picture that I wanted to share with all of you:

More cute squirrel pics:

Back to Blogging

2008-10-01T10:32:00.002-04:00

Blogging for me is a spiritual discipline. As I've been studying the life of Wesley and his use of a journal these past few weeks in my online United Methodist History class, I've been reminded how useful for me it is to have a record of not just how I've spent my time, but my reflection on and interpretation of those things that are happening, either in the world or in my life.

Granted, a blog belongs in the public sphere and so not everything can be shared. But a good part of it can be, and I've found that it really does help me process and fit different pieces of my life and faith together. It also shows me how much I need to start up a paper journal again as well (if my hand has the strength to write for that long!).

Therefore, I am going to be more intentional in sharing my thoughts and reflections, even in the midst of school, church, commuting, learning about Haverhill, and all the other busy things that clutter my life. I'll post something at least once per week, hopefully twice.

The Value of a Nickel

2008-09-30T21:45:00.001-04:00

The church I serve is across the street from the city's poorest and most dangerous sections; the small part, as the previous pastor told us, gives the city it's bad reputation. Because of our location, we get phone calls once in awhile about people asking for help with groceries or with food. I have to guess that we get more calls then actually make it through to us; since we're not in the office on a consistent basis, I'm sure there are people who call and who don't leave a message. We do maintain a small food pantry that the church goes through every once in awhile to make sure the cans haven't expired, and there are a few folks who donate food to us to keep it stocked. While certainly not put to its best use, it serves a function in the community and there are people who need a bag or two of groceries to tie themselves over until their next pay check comes in who are able to find what they need.

One of my first experiences helping someone out came a few weeks ago. A woman called the church after our Sunday worship service and explained that she needed a gallon of milk for her kids, and explained the circumstances surrounding that need. I told her to come on down to the church and I'd be there with milk for her and her family. I dashed down the street to the Walgreens to get some in time for her arrival. By this time, most of the church folk had left except for my husband and I and some others who were cleaning up after coffee fellowship.

Several minutes later, she arrived bringing her daughter with her and I gave her the milk and showed her back to our small food pantry in case there was anything else she needed. This girl - probably about six or seven - was the most extroverted, loving, joyous, and friendly little girl I have ever seen. Everything in the church she approached with an inquisitive spirit -- "let's see this!" or "can I play with this?" or spontaneously giving hugs to those she saw. I have to say that I was quite enchanted by her spirit of love and acceptance to everyone and her exuberance for life.

While I was showing her around and sharing toys with her, she impulsively decided to share something with me. She was showing off her purse and I was admiring it and wanted to show me what was inside. She pulled out three quarters and one nickel. I admired how much money she had, and she smiled up at me and took a quarter and put it into my hand. "This is for you!" she exclaimed. I was taken aback and a more than a little unsure as to how to respond. After all, this kid I had barely met, whose family was facing difficult economic times, had just given me a significant amount of the money she had to her name. I shook my head and told her she should keep it, but she wouldn't hear of it. Finally, she allowed me to exchange the quarter she had given me for her nickel.

I continue to ponder this unusual exchange. Part of me feels like I should have kept the quarter she had so generously given - like the woman who places all she has into the Temple treasury in Mark 12:38-44, this girl had freely given away her money without question -- in this case to a complete stranger! A quarter, to this little girl, is a lot of money, but she still wanted to give it away to share what she had with me.

The nickel I kept currently sits on my dresser as a reminder of this exchange. It reminds me that even when we have little, we are called to give. It reminds me that a tithe is only a starting place and that we are called to go above and beyond to be good stewards of the resources that God has given us. It reminds me that all that we have and all that we are are to be used at God's disposal. It reminds me that even in these tough economic times, it's no excuse to cut God out of the equation.

I believe that this girl gave me more than just a nickel that day; she taught me a powerful lesson on what it means to give no matter where we are in life, no matter what our circumstances, and no matter how much we think we have that's of worth.

(image from http://http://www.coinfacts.com/nickels/jefferson_nickels/1971_No_S_Jefferson_Nickel_Obverse.jpg)

Getting Wet

2008-09-17T22:30:00.003-04:00

Do any of you older and wiser and more experienced pastors have any advice to give a newbie on how to go about a pre-baptismal meeting? In your experience, what has been the line for pastoral concern vs. baptism as a act of worship in community, especially when it comes to issues of public/private baptism?

On a more basic level, what are the things you tend to cover when you schedule an appointment for folks to come in and talk about baptizing thier child? Materials/handouts you have available? Going over the liturgy and what it means?

Taste of Community

2008-09-02T21:04:00.003-04:00

This semester, I'm going to get a little taste of what living in community is going to be like. Ben and I are going to be staying with our dear friends Matt and Farrah for one night each week when we stay in NJ for classes. It'll be great...but we're going to have to discipline ourselves in order to get work done, else we're just going to talk, talk, talk until the wee hours of the morning!

I know that I'm looking forward to what living in community is going to look like once we're all graduated and situated together up in Massachusetts. I dream of a common prayer life together, meals together, conversations together, game nights together...and figuring out life together. In many ways, it will be like getting married all over again as we negotiate conflicts and figure out what works and what doesn't and how we live together.

But for now, I'll have to be content with these little bite-sized tastes before we dive into the full-sized meal!

Playing on the Field

2008-08-25T12:23:00.002-04:00

This past Saturday, Len Sweet came and spoke to a gathering of New England United Methodist about ministry in this new culture, and about how to navigate the Perfect Storm of postmodernism, post-Christendom, and post-scale. I'll admit, it was nice to have one of my favorite professors on my home turf and experiencing good New England culture, and it was great that some folks up this way could start getting a handle on how we can enjoy the ride as we face these opportunities for ministry here in New England.

One of the metaphors we played with was that of a football team. A football team needs to huddle before a play to make sure everyone is on the same page and ready for the play. The point of the huddle is to make it as quick as possible because the point of the game is to move the ball downfield to score a touchdown, and you can't do that if you are spending all of your time in the huddle.

Within this metaphor for the church, we definitely have a huddle situation; so much so that I think we've forgotten that there's a game going on. It reminds me of watching T-ball, where adorable kids sit in the outfield, making dandelion chains for each other, totally oblivious to the face that there's a game out there that they're playing. When the ball comes their way, they seem surprised, and not quite sure what to do with it. Or when a kid gets a great hit and is a bit astonished and everyone starts yelling "go home!" what does she do but...start running home instead of toward home plate.

We've got to get our heads back in the game -- go back to the play book (no...that doesn't mean the Book of Discipline) and get our signals straight from the coach. That is, if the church wants to continue playing on the field.

The Balance

2008-08-21T13:07:00.003-04:00

I like to think sometimes that I have a wide fan-base who wait with bated breath for every new post...but who am I kidding? Right now I'm posting because at heart, I am forever a procrastinator -- not because you are particularly interested in what I have to say right now.

I've been back from vacation for a few days now, and am starting to wonder how the heck I'm going to manage seminary and church and commuting this next year. I ordered books yesterday, and it was like my eyes were opened: "Shoot! I really am going back for another year! Dear Lord..." I still haven't managed to finish my incomplete class this summer, and am half-tempted just to retake it. Bleah. My advice to all of you: never, ever take an incomplete if you can help it.

After seven weeks of ministry, I've realized just how much you have to do in a church. There's work, and then there's....work. On the one hand, there's the Sunday morning ritual and preparing for that, the meetings to go to and the pushing paper around. On the other hand, there's getting folks motivated to study the Bible, to follow Jesus more passionately, to take their discipleship to the next level. I'm struggling to keep the balance tipped more in the latter direction than the former. It sounded so much easier to do in theory than in practice.

Part of it may just be a function of my own level of intense discipleship. I'll admit, some days it's all I can do to get through saying the morning offices instead of praying for the city, my congregation, and my world. And some weeks, my personal Bible study is limited to what I do for sermon prep (which, as they teach us in seminary, is perfectly alright, but I beg to differ). And I have yet to dig myself deeply into the fabric of this community, though both Ben and I have had some great conversations with a few of the local small business owners.

It's a process, of course, but I'm impatient. So is Ben, which makes putting things into perspective difficult. So I'm left with trying to channel this impatience into prayer and into something constructive as we get to know our congregation and this city that God has called us to. I fear that seminary is going to be one more thing to get in the way (time-wise and otherwise) of what God is trying to do through us.

So we'll be juggling a church plant, seminary, church, and sabbath this year. Pray for us!

Olympic Christians

2008-08-07T16:32:00.004-04:00

As I prepare my sermon on Matthew 13:44-46 (the treasure hidden in the field and the pearl of great price), my mind keeps getting drawn to the Olympics. In Beijing, athletes from around the world will gather to push themselves to their limits in order to compete for their country, and bring home the gold. Many competitors have been training for this one event for their whole lives, working with single-minded passion and determination to make the cut, make their country's team, and win it all. The gold medal for these people is their pearl of great price, something they've sacrificed for and worked for in an effort to attain.

What is our pearl of great price? What drives and motivates us? Many would say our families, perhaps our jobs or success. But what about the kingdom? How many of us would be willing to sacrifice like that for the kingdom of God - to make God's dream for this world become a reality? Do any of us have that single-minded devotion that drives and compels us to serve God and neighbor with heart, soul, mind, and strength?

But I think that there's more than just this focused drive to achieve that spurs the Olympic athletes on toward winning the prize. There's a love of the sport involved. They enjoy what they do because it brings satisfaction and joy. There's beauty to it as well that motivates their efforts to achieve.

Pearls in ancient Palestine were appreciated not just for their value, but also for their beauty. It's not just that we are driven by need or calling to bring forth God's dream for the world, but that there is something inherently beautiful in it; that God seeks human efforts - as broken and messed up as we are - to create a world characterized by joy, peace, mercy, justice, and love. There is beauty in touching and transforming the life of another, in witnessing two old friends having coffee together, a child playing with her friends, or a man stopping to talk with a homeless person. There's beauty in the small acts that show how God's dream is working to make all things new.

So there is the value of the kingdom - something we are called to invest ourselves in fully, orienting our lives completely around God and neighbor; and something deeply beautiful in being able to witness to and participate in God's designs for creation.

I think we're called to be Olympic Christians - striving and training and giving all we have so that God's dream for the world can come true and appreciating the beautiful ways God works in us and in others to make this a reality.

Both strands are probably too much for one sermon, but we'll see what happens.

Good Samaritan Take 2

2008-08-03T17:38:00.002-04:00

In church this morning, Ben led a community exegesis of the Good Samaritan text, and then we did a little skit modernizing the characters. We took the new characters from the suggestions of the congregation:

The Jericho Road? I-495

Priest and Levite: a respected member of our church community and Jimmy Carter

The Samaritan: Manny Ramirez (though it was between him, Derek Jeter, and we heard some people suggest A-Rod as well).

Only in Massachusetts....

Friends? Please?

2008-08-02T10:18:00.002-04:00

So - question for those of you who have been pastors for awhile...or just know how to get out into a community:

How do you make friends with people your own age when the city doesn't seem to offer any services for that demographic (especially when you aren't living where the young adults are)? Do you just hang out a lot at coffee shops and pray someone sits down at the table next to you and is reading something interesting? Do you go to the music events and hunt people down? Do you scour facebook for people living in your area and pounce on likely candidates and scream, "I need friends!!!!!"?

Ben and I went out last night; the local arts district was holding a mini-street festival of sorts. The stores were open, there was a band playing (although they bowed out early since they had a more important gig elsewhere), and there was food and ice cream. Some folks were dancing in the streets, having a great time. But most people came in groups, so there wasn't a chance to really mingle and get to know folks.

So far, our best time of connecting with people has been the shopkeepers in the downtown. We go in, talk about how we're new to the area, and most of the folks have been very willing to help us out, get us oriented to the community and whatnot. Perhaps the next question to ask these people would be - "what is there to do to meet people my own age here?"

Perhaps I'll have to make "making friends" a spiritual discipline...

Turnabout's Fair Play

2008-07-25T20:36:00.003-04:00

I was driving home from having dinner with my father-in-law at their house (and getting a few bags of fresh garden veggies too!) when I noticed in the fading sunlight the forms of flamingos approaching. "Huh," I thought, "I don't remember there being any flamingos in our neighbor's yard." Except...it wasn't the neighbor's yard. It was my front lawn, littered with very pink flamingos. I guess Westwood has paid me back for all the flamingo flocking I inflicted on the city this past spring as the youth group raised money for Nothing But Nets. Never thought it would happen...but then again, Westwood has a few sneaky and devious people who would do such a thing when they're up in the Massachusetts area!

Why New England is the Best Place to Live

2008-07-19T11:15:00.000-04:00

"In fact, New England leads the country in ice cream consumption per capita."

Enough said.

(found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England)

New adventures

2008-07-10T21:31:00.002-04:00

I have to wonder if it is the experience of every new pastor to have at least one situation come up within the first couple weeks that (1) is common enough that other pastors have dealt with something similar but that (2) is uncommon enough that it isn't covered by what an average person normally thinks of when considering parish ministry. My gut instinct tells me that this happens to a good number of green pastors - or maybe I just don't want to be one of the isolated few.

So I spent a good part of the afternoon in the office, mentally and spiritually preparing myself - mostly trying to assure myself that I looked (and felt) pastorly, that I was there to listen and ask questions, and that soon, it'd be over and I could go home to continue working on my sermon for Sunday (which is still, at this hour, very much in process). I also chatted with the copier repairman, who is a very friendly fellow and helped acquaint me to the heavy-duty-more-copier-than-we-need copy machine (it's very, very nice).

So the appointed time rolled around, the copy machine man gone, and...nothing. No one. I waited. Still, no one drove into the parking lot. I don't think anyone even drove by the church on the side streets while I waited in the church office, checking Facebook every two or three minutes to occupy my time.

The end of the story? I went home, frustrated that I spent all this time preparing for the meeting while I could have been writing my sermon while I was in the office. But, also glad to have meet the copier man, who gave some tips on people to meet in the area. And also glad I spent some time getting things together for this meeting; I'm sure it will prove to be very useful somewhere down the line.

And I'm sure there'll be something unexpected to deal with next week.

Settling In

2008-07-09T17:33:00.002-04:00

The house is mostly unpacked, thanks to the many people - family, friends, and churchfolk - who came over last Tuesday to help get our house in order. The downstairs is fully done, while the upstairs...well, let's just say you don't want to peek inside our guest bedroom. But other than that, we have a functional house with a few charming oddities and quirks that give it some character. For instance, one of the rooms has windows that overlook the stairwell. We also have what is called a "sleeping room" off of the master bedroom. Apparently, many houses built in the early 20th century had them since there were no air conditioners. It's a room with small windows about bed-height placed all about the room. They're under the eaves, so the sun doesn't heat them, and they help improve circulation for those hot summer nights. Pictures will be forthcoming!

We're also settling in to being pastors of a church - learning about where things are kept in the office, getting to know the community both in and outside the church, and exploring the area. So far, things have gone remarkably well, and we didn't make complete fools out of ourselves the first Sunday (leave it to this coming Sunday, where I'm the one who gets to preach!) In any event, I already have meetings with folks scheduled for tomorrow, a sermon to write, VBS to look after, calls to make, hymns to pick...on top of changing addresses, drivers license, etc...

But today is my day off for the week, so enough of that.

I love science...and I love Boston

2008-06-26T21:16:00.003-04:00

I spent a delightful day down in Boston with Ben and the in-laws touring the Boston Science Museum. I hadn't been there for several years, but it was fun to go through some of the familiar exhibits and feed the part of my brain that is still in love with math and physics (and wonders why I left it in the first place).

My favorite exhibit is probably the one dedicated to mathematics, but close behind are the electricity presentation (and playing with eddy currents), the butterfly garden, the cotton-tailed monkeys, and all the fun interactive stations on the lower level. Currently, they have a special exhibit on baseball with all sorts of neat historical artifacts and information...and Curt Schilling's bloody sock from the 2004 World Series. Not nearly as cool or as historic as the bloody garment Gandhi was wearing when he was assassinated that I saw in India, but neat nonetheless.

I am going to love being this close to Boston. We'll be a train-ride away on the commuter rail, and for some of the other attractions, driving into the city won't be too difficult (New Jersey driving has made me rather fearless). There are all sorts of things I would love to do: the Aquarium, Museum of Art, the Children's Museum, catch a few shows, etc... I hope that we get to go into Boston at least once a month.

In the spirit of the science-y day I had, I leave you with a webcomic from xkcd:

Alive. I think.

2008-06-24T19:47:00.003-04:00

I blinked, and a month has flown by without me really being aware of it. Finishing up at Westwood, moving in with the in-laws, local pastor's licensing school, annual conference, and catching up with life have occupied my time since the end of May. But now, Ben and I are on vacation before July 1st comes and we are the official pastors of the Good Shepherd UMC in Haverhill, MA and we move into the parsonage.

I'm excited about going into ministry and stepping out for the first time "on my own", so to speak. I'm also, frankly, terrified. I know I'll make mistakes (as will Ben), and I know I'll be busy balancing ministry with school and rest and church planting. But it will be good.

An appointment!

2008-05-15T17:22:00.002-04:00

Here is why I'm in the midst of so many transitions right now: Ben and I have an appointment up in New England! We are going to be the pastors at Good Shepherd UMC in Haverhill, MA! Everything is pretty frantic as we try to get all of our paperwork together, finish papers for seminary (but fortunately that's done), and...move out by May 31st. Our lease runs out at the end of the month, and we're going to be living with Ben's parents for a bit before we can move into the parsonage. We're renting a big huge moving truck and heading back north.

I'm really looking forward to pastoring this church. The community seems really wonderful, and honestly, I am looking forward to being back in New England. We still have one more year left at Drew, and so commuting for that year isn't going to be so much fun, but there are two of us. And lots of podcasts we want to listen to. :-)

I'm sad leaving my current church. Westwood has been a great place for me to learn and grow, and they will always have a special place in my heart.

So that's my bit of news!

Friday evening sermon thoughts

2008-05-02T20:12:00.003-04:00

I've reached an impasse with my sermon. This is one of those that is struggling to be born, and I haven't had the energy or the willpower to bring it into the world yet. I have two and a half pages, and a few thoughts. I know where I want it to go; just need to see if I can get it there or if God wants something else preached.

I'm looking at John 17 - the whole chapter. I'm struck by how many times during this last prayer Jesus prays "that they may be one as we are one." This oneness has a purpose: so that the world may know of God's love - it's not unity for unity's sake. It's not even about agreement - Jesus didn't pray that the disciples should agree or believe the same things...but that they might be one. That we may be one.

This is the nugget I'm trying to draw out. I'm using General Conference as an example of the apparent disunity of the UMC - the protests and fighting and lack of consensus about issues that deeply divide the church. But deep down...we are still one. We are all still in Christ. We may not understand it. We may not even like it. But we're one...and that means we need to act like it. It doesn't mean that suddenly everyone has to agree, but it means that we have to love our neighbors and each other, transcending disagreements, and look to Christ which binds us together. Perhaps I'll add a bit of Wesley's "A Catholic Spirit" in there.

Arg, but it just isn't coming! Fortunately, I have one more day...

RevGal Friday Five - Wait and Pray

2008-05-02T16:45:00.002-04:00

Part of the Ascension Day Scripture from Acts 11 contains this promise from Jesus;

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Then he was taken from their sight into the clouds, two angels appeared and instructed the probably bewildered disciples to go back to Jerusalem, where they began to wait and to pray for the gift Jesus had promised.

Prayer is a joy to some of us, and a chore to others, waiting likewise can be filled with anticipation or anxiety....

So how do you wait and pray?

1. How do you pray best, alone or with others? Well, I really hate praying aloud (a not so great thing for a pastor, I know), but I pray silently better when there are others around. It helps keep me accountable and focused. Plus, I love the feeling of corporate silence rather than solitary silence (though that's nice on occasion too).

2. Do you enjoy the discipline of waiting, is it a time of anticipation or anxiety? I tend not to wait well. I suppose it's a mix of both...but it really depends on what I'm waiting for.

3. Is there a time when you have waited upon God for a specific promise? Yes! I knew far before my husband did that God had planted something between us.

4. Do you prefer stillness or action? Stillness, for the most part.

5. If (and this is slightly tongue in cheek) you were promised one gift spiritual or otherwise what would you choose to receive? Perhaps this isn't quite a spiritual gift, but I would love to have the gift of extroversion.

Dragging My Feet

2008-05-01T19:47:00.003-04:00

I've been so out of touch this semester. I haven't read any blogs, even those that I've really, really wanted to. I haven't talked with friends in ages. I need to get off my lazy butt and call people, e-mail people, write to people, but I'm so tired. Just...tired. And many changes are coming.

I can't write about all of them yet - everything will be official down on this end in a couple of weeks. But it means these next two months will be frantic and hectic, with one small window for a week's vacation. We hope to visit relatives, but honestly, part of me hopes we become vegetables and I have the chance to set the "reset" button.

I've blogged (a little bit) more on http://melissa.bechurchne.org, but I want to play around with the format more. I'm strange like that -- I can't write or put my words out there if I don't have a suitable design or space for it. I'm getting twitchy about redesigning the website (again) because I think there are areas for improvement. Maybe if I redesign it I'll want to blog there more...

...or maybe I'll start all over again. Hah! There's the procrastinator in me talking. I've got a sermon for this Sunday (on Unity of all things...how the heck am I supposed to preach on Unity after General Conference?). I also have a paper for UM Doctrine and Polity on the decline of the Methodist class meeting and how such a system can be reincorporated into church life (my choice of topic). And then a final project for Sweet. And then Matt and Farrah's wedding. And then more sermons and Annual Conference and stuff...

...there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And it isn't a train. I keep having to tell myself that.

So I don't know what has made me so relationally out of touch this past semester. Perhaps I'm settling in tooooo well to married life. Perhaps it's because this church planting thing is starting to take off (I can't remember how many flash trips to New England the four of us made this semester). No matter. I can just try to be better.

A Random Thought

2008-03-04T12:55:00.000-05:00

Breakfast this morning with Len Sweet made me think about something.

What if the best preparation for this new kind of church plant we want to do isn't taking a quarter time church or working in a church plant or anything like that...

...but rather working as a barista at Starbucks?

(I have a problem with the fact that they don't have free Wi-Fi, but the question remains...substitute any good coffee shop for Starbucks).

What do you think?

Culture Shock 101

2008-02-14T08:28:00.003-05:00

2nd semester is well underway here at Drew, and memories of India are fading fast. I know many people experience culture shock upon returning to the United States after they have visited a poorer country, and to a certain degree I resonate with that experience. What I didn't expect was how quickly I reacclimated to our consumeristic culture. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I was flat on my back for a few days with a severe cold right after getting back from India, but if I'm honest with myself I know it's an excuse.

I've struggled with this aspect of American life for awhile -- the materialism, the emphasis on consuming goods -- and I was disheartened by seeing aspects of this bleeding over into India. Not that globalization hasn't done some good for the Indian economy, but there are terrible costs as well. With the matter of clean drinking water, I heard one economist say, "If the government can't provide clean drinking water, then what is wrong with Coca-cola coming in to supply that need?" On the flip side, this increasing privatization of public services is adversely affecting the poorest of the poor - those in rural villages and those in the urban slums.

It's not enough to try to be better. Of course, this is a step in the right direction, but by trying to live more ethically in this materialistic, consumeristic culture we are still participating in a system that hurts those who can't do anything about it. What would it look like for us to drop out of the system all together, or to buy from local businesses with ethical practices? To grow our own foods or buy locally, to shop at goodwill or the salvation army for clothes instead of driving out to the mall, to go to the library for books and music (or going to a used book store) instead of buying them new? What would it look like to cut down on what we bought every month, especially if we really didn't need it in the first place? Essentially, what would it look like for a significant number of people to be one level removed from all of this craziness?

I hope that this church plant can be a model for this kind of living, but I know that my husband and I need to make improvements in our life together first. There's a lot we can do before we're close to where we want to be: eat more simply, buy used products, consume less. In fact, we're going to try something different. We're going to not buy anything new (aside from things like lightbulbs or underwear or food...things you need to buy new) until Pentecost. Anything new will have to be given as a gift. It should be an interesting experiment, and one that we would love to get others in on! If you're interested in journeying with us, pray about it and leave a comment!

[Note: Increasingly, I will be posting more often on my new blog site: http://melissa.bechurchne.org. To see the posts of the whole community together, check out http://bechurchne.org/blog/. I'll still be using this site, but we'll see what it morphs into!]

Adventures in India: Part 1

2008-01-09T03:36:00.000-05:00

We've arrived safely in India, and have spent the past few days in the Bangalore area. We stayed at the Fireflies Ashram, a place that is dedicated to being an interface between the sacred and the secular in India. They are interfaith, but primarily Hindu. Much of our time there was spent getting over jet-lag, though we visited the Mysore palace and a 13th century Hindu temple in some remote village, in addition to a cow ashram and a lecture at United Theological College in Bangalore.

I don't know hoy I am going to assemble all these experiences and pieces of information together. So much has happened in only three days, and there's so much to reflect upon: poverty, the expanding middle class, different cultural understandings, awkward bathrooms....the list goes on!

So I'm going to try and update when I can, but the internet isn't very fast, the computers are slow, and we get limited time at internet cafes. Plus, writing e-mails to Ben is a priority. :-)

Until next time....

My Sunday

2007-12-30T13:39:00.000-05:00

Sundays are always busy days for pastors. I knew this going into ministry, but I wasn't prepared for the full extent of how much of a drain on my introverted system Sundays are. Especially on the Sundays I preach, I'm ready for a nap by 1 in the afternoon (otherwise, I'm ready for a nap by 2 or 3). But there's always more to do - youth group, or a mailing or things to plan - and then there's the hour-long car ride home that somehow morphs into an hour-thirty affair with traffic back-ups on Rt. 22 or Rt. 1 (depending on the route I take). I come home, and the last thing I want to do is do reading for class or write a reflection paper...and the first thing I want to do is either sleep or eat a lot of really-bad-for-you junk food.

Although I am dead tired (from preaching and from watching my beloved team manage an undefeated season), tonight when I go home, I'll be going home to a loving husband who will be taking me out to dinner and to see "A Christmas Carol" at the Shakespeare Theatre. I'm hoping for a more enjoyable time than when I went to see "Henry VI" (Ben liked it. I didn't.) And then tomorrow I'll get to sleep in before starting the day with preparations for India, readings for India, and the dreaded CPE application.

Well, it's just about time for youth group, so that's it for now...

(On a completely unrelated note, I just discovered that I have dried cookie dough all throughout my engagement ring. Nice.)

ARGH

2007-12-29T10:32:00.000-05:00

I'll be one of the first to tell you that grades don't really matter in the long run. What matters is the work you put into the class and your understanding of the material, yada, yada yada...except when I checked on my grades from this past semester and got royally angry about my preaching grade because I fail to see how I got that grade (unless I totally bombed my preaching self-evaluation, which I don't think I did). I think I'm going to cool off a bit before I e-mail him, asking how the heck he assigned the grade he did.

Maybe grades matter to me more than I thought they did...even grades from useless classes we have to take.

Trials of a Student #1

2007-12-29T00:08:00.000-05:00

Student Health Insurance doesn't cover anything. You would think that since students are prone to traveling (because when else in your life are you going to have the opportunity to do it), student health insurance would cover things like...medicine to prevent you from getting malaria (always a good thing). Instead, students are expected to shell out $167 for 30 tablets, a cost we are expected to pay out of our pockets (in addition to the $1800 for the trip to India, about $100 for all the immunizations and other medications, and not to mention the fees for the visa and the international student ID card and the like). Of course, $167 is nothing compared to the cost of contracting malaria...and it is about $60 cheaper than filling the prescription at CVS or Rite Aid, and $20 cheaper than Target or Walmart.

Yet it is a luxury that I can even purchase these pills in the first place to prevent me from getting malaria when so many people - especially children - die from the disease every single year. Every day, even. Most people living in these places where malaria is prevalent don't even have basic protection - like a mosquito net treated with chemicals to kill the mosquitoes that are spreading the disease. I'm lucky enough to be able to afford this while thousands more suffer.

So instead of griping about the lousy student health insurance that doesn't cover prescriptions, I should be thankful that a drug like this is available for me to purchase and that I have the resources to be able to afford it. I just wish these trips weren't so darn expensive! With all these fees, there'll be no money left for me to shop with...

It was Christmas?

2007-12-27T22:17:00.001-05:00

Thinking about this past week, Christmas seemed a little surreal. No snow (not the first time), no heavy-duty apartment decoration except for our little tree (no time and no money), and no time off made the holiday fly by. By December 26th my To-Do list filled a page - and none of them small tasks either! Chief among them are the "pastor's article" for the church newsletter, a CPE application to ~~fini...~~ start (really, if I'm honest), and the one thing that has been currently occupying my attention: writing my sermon on Matthew 2:13-23 for Sunday. Yup, that's right. If anything will take you out of the Christmas spirit, it's the prospect of writing a sermon on this text. I just couldn't help it...none of the other texts really spoke to me, and with the limited time frame, I went with what I felt God might be prodding me to tackle. Thanks, God. You couldn't have given me compelling insight into Psalm 148?

In light of the content of the story, I've been thinking a lot about how Christmas is just a messy thing. It's just not this pristine, sanitary story that our culture (and carols like "Away in a Manger") has made it into. Shamed, disgraced, and homeless Mary and Joseph and Jesus in a smelly, stinking barn with no family or friends to witness the birth, save for a few shepherds (as Luke tells it).

And in light of all the work and business and everything...maybe a messier Christmas is just the thing.

Be the Church!

2007-12-26T21:17:00.000-05:00

Once again, I have fallen behind on my blogging (both in writing and in keeping up with posts others have written). This time, it was due to a delightful vacation up in Massachusetts, time with family and friends, completing a class project, and then coming back to NJ with Christmastime right around the corner. Now, the guests are gone (though my in-laws aren't tough guests at all!), and it's just me and Ben again, although I have my fair share of things to do before I leave for India. (By the way, it really stinks that student health insurance doesn't cover the cost of Malaria medicine...)

There is something I would love to share with you all - the website for our class project! The catch is this - it's our first draft for our real church plant proposal. By clicking the link, you will be privy to our first attempt at concretizing a year's worth of conversations and dreams, and if you keep coming back, you'll be able to follow our journey as this church plant proposal emerges and takes life - and be engaged with it every step of the way! So please, visit http://bechurchne.org and be sure to give me feedback (on the content, the form, the design of the website) so that we can improve our ideas going forward and so that you, too, can be a part of our process!

Merry Christmas!

New England = Home

2007-12-12T10:13:00.000-05:00

It's nice to be back in New England. For one thing, there's snow on the ground (and there was snow as we were coming up; it wasn't all from the recent storm!). We drove up on Sunday on a (somewhat) impulse decision. We had been planning a Sunday drive northward, but when we looked at the weather, it was supposed to snow/sleet/wintry mix about the time we'd be driving through Hartford and Worcester. No good. However, when we checked again on Sunday, the storm had been pushed to later (around six), and so we decided to make a go of it. We drove up, and encountered no bad weather at all!

Just because I'm home doesn't mean there is nothing to do! We still have to finish our class project for church planting, which will be a website (currently in the works. Check out our intro page at http://bechurchne.org). I have several preparations for India in the works: getting tevas, packing, malaria medicine, etc. There are Christmas gifts to make (I've decided I'm going to try and hand-make all my gifts; we'll see how that turns out...at the very least, I want my gifts to come from sources that don't oppress or exploit people and/or the environment). And, there's the all-important task of resting and relaxing.

Right now, I'm in a process of discerning what I want to do with this blog. I haven't kept it up nearly as much now that I've started journaling more (something that has proved rather fruitful after nearly two weeks). Perhaps I'll move it elsewhere...perhaps I'll discipline myself to cull thoughts and insights from my journal (that are shareable) once or twice each week. I'm feeling the need to go deeper with this than I am at right now. We'll see.

On a purely superficial sports note, I am sooooooo ready for next week's Patriot's v. Jets game. I hope the Pats run up the score...

I'm alive and older

2007-11-25T17:30:00.000-05:00

A couple days ago I turned 25 - a quarter of a century years old. I don't feel that much older, but I suppose I now definitively fall into that mid-twenties age range that just sounds old. A grad student, married, in her mid-twenties. Old.

Not really. :-)

I spent the Thanksgiving Holiday with my in-laws, made a vow not to buy anything save for the necessities (like food) on Black Friday, unsuccessfully shopped for shoes on Saturday, and went to a wonderful wedding up at Dartmouth on Saturday afternoon. Then, we drove back to New Jersey, and got in a bit after midnight.

This morning, I went to visit Vision Community Church in Warwick, NY. They are a church plant in the Methodist Tradition, as their parent church is a church in the New York Conference. I have to admit, it was nice to be able to sit back and worship without being responsible for something in the service. Don and Pam Heatley, the pastors of this church, had come in and spoke to our church planting class a couple weeks ago, and I was impressed with what they had to say about their church. Visiting, I was also impressed -- they have hospitality down like no one else's business! Igniting Ministries or whatever branch of the church deals with welcoming people should take a tip or five from Vision. I was well-greeted and introduced to other people in the congregation. They serve breakfast before their services (bagels and coffee, and they also had apple pie and pumpkin pie and other pastry things), and people can bring their food into the services with them. The sermon was great, worship tended towards contemporary (with the music blended and communion at the end).

More later...if I get motivated enough (I need to be more disciplined about my blogging).

Meh.

2007-11-12T11:22:00.000-05:00

I'm finding it abnormally difficult to concentrate on this chilly, November morning. Perhaps because it's Monday and normally my day off. Perhaps because I can't seem to get the study warm enough for my fingers. Perhaps because I'm being forced to write a sermon for class and I'm just not into it. Perhaps because I can easily think of five better things to do with my time:

1) Start working on designing a website for our new church. We'd have profiles of us, stuff about our process, videos, etc...

2) Pick out the wedding photos I want edited and polished up

3) Start playing around with some graphics design - specifically, see if I can create a new header for my blog

4) Play Sim City 4 or Kingdom of Loathing (equally good options)

5) Knit or do something else crafty

Instead, I have work to do, because this past week was busy. I have to:

1) Write this advent sermon. It's coming along, and I believe everything I'm putting into it, but it's not coming together. It's half-way done. It would be better if we were actually being taught about writing a sermon and using stories and how to call people to action instead of just the generic blah we've been getting.

2) Do an ethics assignment in which we have to design and outline an adult education course on sexuality issues or sexual orientation issues that were raised in our readings for the past week.

3) Laundry, at some point (Ben and I will figure out who gets that pleasure)

So, I'm working in bite-sized chunks. 30 minutes here, (break), 30 minutes there, (break). All breaks are by rule mindless and things I want to do.

Hopefully, if I get everything done today, I can veg out this evening to Chuck and Heroes!

Once Upon A Time...

2007-11-05T11:22:00.001-05:00

I blinked, and November is already well under way. Surprising and a little unnerving, especially since I signed up for NaNoWriMo on a whim and currently have nothing but a handful of the vaguest of plot lines. A couple other friends of mine have signed up and taken the plunge, and I, much like a lemming inspired by their examples, followed suit.

Except I really did have good intentions. Lately, I've been fascinated by stories, and how they shape us and can be used to shape others. As part of our church planting class, we watched and participated in a presentation on the power of stories. It was an insightful presentation, and I learned a lot about what makes a story what it is: the linear story (what happens), the heart story (the emotions...the undercurrent of the linear story), and the archetypal story (the part of the story that appeals to ancient memory). We talked about worldview and meta-narrative and all of that jazz. We spent a lot of time examining different movie clips in this light, focusing especially on the movie End of the Spear. But while I left the presentation feeling like I had learned something about analyzing stories, I still felt that I didn't know how to craft them, tell them, or catch them in the moment of their creation.

Stories tell us a lot about who we are, where we've been, what we hold dear, and where we're going. It was my hope to convey this to my congregation on All Saint's Sunday; it was my hope to collect stories from different people in the church about the people in their lives who were saints to them - be these saints from the church or not. It was my hope to teach that because we are a community, these different saints affect all of us and are a part of our shared history - our shared story - because of their influence on one person. The stories of our saints - both known and unknown - are stories we know and share with each other. However, things sometimes don't go as planned in a church, and I had to scramble to fill up my sermon with other things.

In our visit to Boston last weekend (which I will write more about in another post, I promise!), the director for congregational development suggested we work on developing our story - and have it be one that we can tell in a short period of time (under 2 minutes). This story is not about an autobiographical account of how the four of us came to be in covenant relationship with one another and then felt this call to plant a church - but the why. Why live in community? Why plant a church? Why - other than because we feel God calls us to it?

On a lighter note, my interest in stories have been also fueled by a new Facebook application called Just Three Words. The principle of it is simple: you and all your friends add to a story three words at a time. I've had great fun seeing what people come up with and how all the stories I'm following have taken quite different tones and turns.

These different snapshots of the semester have left me wanting and needing to learn how to tell a compelling story, not just the verbal articulation of it, but the very structuring of it. What piece goes where? What is the hook? Where should it end?

Sweet Fellowship

2007-10-22T21:17:00.000-04:00

Last weekend was my church's annual Candy Making event for our upcoming Harvest Festival. We gathered in the afternoon in the home of one of our lay folks, and spent the better part of the day making delicious hard candy to sell at the Harvest Festival. This was my second time, and it was heaps of fun. We made a myriad of different flavors, ranging from blueberry cheesecake to peppermint to licorice. About 26 of us came to participate and all ages were represented, from the young kids to those who are still kids at heart. We broke in the evening for a "light" supper (where we all definitely ate our fill...probably so we wouldn't eat the candy), and ended making candy around 8:30 in the evening. It was a true time of fellowship and conversation and work...and enjoying the muted Patriot's game in the background where they trounced the Dallas Cowboys. Good food, good fellowship, and good fun.

Something transformational happens when you get a group of church people out of the church setting. Everyone is more relaxed, has time to engage in deeper conversations with one another - it's like coffee hour squared. Seeing people outside of church somehow puts them in a more natural light. I think from time to time we don't bring our whole selves to church, both the good and the bad, and being together in a different setting helps flesh people out. They become more real, more than just the reflection seen on Sunday morning. Authentic sharing happens because there is more time to talk and be with one another than the quick 5-minute life update during coffee hour or the raising of an answered prayer during joys and concerns. Relationships can truly deepen during these times apart from church because there is the time and the space for fellowship.

I believe I experienced authentic fellowship during our candy making event. And it was truly sweet - and not just because of the candy. ;-) We were all happy to be together, happy to burn our fingers a bit, and happy to help out our church as we made candy to sell at the Harvest Festival. I hope that wherever I end up serving, there will be moments like this in the life of the congregation where true community and fellowship can be experienced.

RevGal Friday Five: Homage to the Top Chef

2007-10-19T09:46:00.000-04:00

1. If you were a food, what would you be?

Chicken Noodle Soup. Comforting and familiar, most people like it, and it's good for you. ;-)

2. What is one of the most memorable meals you ever had? And where?

Actually, it was at this French Restaurant in the theater district called Pergola Des Artistes. Affordable, delicious French food. I've eaten there twice now, and each time I wasn't disappointed.

3. What is your favorite comfort food from childhood?

Mac 'n' Cheese...

4. When going to a church potluck, what one recipe from your kitchen is sure to be a hit?

Well, I haven't made many casseroles lately (I love how I automatically equate church potluck with casseroles). But my mom has a macaroni salad recipe that is absolutely delicious! Not too heavy on the mayo or the oil, with delicious veggies and pasta. Mmm!

But I also cook a mean broccoli almond stir fry...

5. What’s the strangest thing you ever willingly ate?

Lobster Ice Cream. Don't try it, it's gross. Why waste the lobster?

Bonus question: What’s your favorite drink to order when looking forward to a great meal?

It honestly depends on the meal (and who's paying ;-)). Generally, I just order water, but occasionally I'm a bad Methodist and go for the wine or a Guinness. That'll have to stop...

"I've Got The Blues..."

2007-10-18T18:22:00.000-04:00

I did not really just eat a whole box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for dinner.

Except, I just did.

Comfort Food: 1, Melissa: 0.

But I only used half the butter it called for!

We can't serve both God and Mammon...but we sure do try.

2007-10-18T16:41:00.000-04:00

Drew Theological School's Tipple-Vosburgh lectures were this week. Class prevented me from attending most of the workshops and the lectures, however, I did attend one plenary and the closing worship. I really wanted to attend Fred Curtis's (an economics professor at Drew) plenary session on Monday, but it just wasn't viable. It was nice to meet Beth Quick, albeit very briefly! Despite my limited experience of the lectures, for good or for ill, I wanted to offer my reflections:

I'm just not there...and yet, I am there. Perhaps I didn't get the "so what" out of the one plenary because it wasn't geared that way (though I always think we should be asking that question, even in academics), but even the "so what" I heard out of worship didn't push me enough. "Buy clothes from ethical stores and not from WalMart!" "Give out of our excess because we have too much!" Ok...good...but not really very radical. It's not radical to me because we are still participating in this consumer economy that seeks to create our greed, drive our dissatisfaction with the world and our lives, and that still exploits and marginalizes people; we're just putting our money in a different place. It seems to me that while yes - we need things and need to shop to get them - we also need to be subverting the system. Stepping out of that consumer economy all together, if we truly want to be radical.

I think of Shane Claiborne and The Simple Way community in Philadelphia. He made his own habit that he wears every day. The people of the community live together and share their possessions and live in close relationship with the poor around them. To them, poverty has a name and a face...not just a line in the checkbook for donations, or a bag in the hall for stuff to donate.

I struggle with this...a lot. I struggle because I wonder what living like this - in relationship with the poor, living with the basics, sharing our possessions - will look like as there are those of us here at Drew who feel called to a similar lifestyle. So while I'm so far from selling what I have to give to the poor, I do know that there has to be more than just living ethically and responsibly within the system. Ethical and responsible living is a good witness...but doesn't fundamentally change the system. And I'm not sure that Jesus said "live ethically" to the ruler, but told him that he lacked one thing: to go sell his possessions, give the money to the poor, and follow Jesus.

So while this message was something that perhaps some needed to hear, I wanted something more. I wanted to be challenged to seriously consider this radical call to discipleship. I wanted to hear something about being in relationship with the poor, not just being their financial liberators or benefactors. I wanted to hear Jesus.

RevGal Friday Five: The B-I-B-L-E

2007-10-12T08:55:00.000-04:00

I haven't played in awhile...but here goes!

Does everyone remember the old Sunday School song?

The B-I-B-L-E,
Oh, that's the book for me.
I take my stand on the Word of God,
The B-I-B-L-E.

Ahh, yes...fond memories...

1. What is your earliest memory of encountering a biblical text?

I remember in jr. church we had to memorize the KJV of Psalm 23. I think I was in 1st or 2nd grade. Earlier than that, I remember having a little book called "My First Bible" and it told snippets of Bible stories for kids with pictures. I still remember the picture of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the flames, and the picture of Daniel in the Lion's Den with the angel holding the lion's mouth shut. I remember the illustrations more than how the stories were told. Strictly speaking it wasn't dealing with the actual *text* of the Bible, but with the stories...hence, Psalm 23 wins.

2. What is your favorite biblical translation, and why? (You might have a few for different purposes).

Despite my initial skepticism, I'm becoming more fond of Eugene Peterson's paraphrase, The Message. The imagery and the language of the text is powerful and evocative in places. Of course, I don't read it isolated from my trusty NRSV if I'm doing more intensive study or if I'm preaching, although my last sermon borrowed heavily from Peterson's language. Oddly enough, now and again I turn back to the NIV, the first translation I really started reading. I've moved from the NIV to the RSV to the NRSV and then to The Message.

For the Old Testament, however, you just can't beat the Tanakh. We used the Jewish Study Bible for my Old Testament class in seminary, and I'm more prone to read it before the NRSV.

All in all, I like many translations, even some of the more obscure ones. And I also love turning back to the original language (for the New Testament...don't know Hebrew yet) and breaking out my lexicon to attempt my own translation/reading of the text.

3. What is your favorite book of the Bible? Your favorite verse/passage?

Something about Philippians grabs me. Normally, I'm not a huge fan of the Epistles, preferring to read the Gospels...and preferring the Old Testament over the New entirely. But Philippians was one of the first books I did a more in-depth and intentional devotional study on during an Intervarsity retreat during college. Afterwards, a group of us went back to campus and read it aloud at once in the dark with candles and flashlights under a starry sky. Pretty cool.

Instead of listing all of my favorite passages from throughout the Bible (of which there are many), I'll give you my favorite passage from Philippians:

"Do all things without murmuring and arguing, so that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, in which you shine like stars in the world. It is by your holding fast to the word of life that I can boast on the day of Christ that I did not run in vain or labor in vain." (Philippians 2:14-16)

I also love the book of Psalms.

4. Which book of the Bible do you consider, in Luther's famous words about James, to be "an epistle of straw?" Which verse(s) make you want to scream?

Aside from the obvious passages about women that Paul may (or may not) have written in 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy, I have issues with a lot of the Old Testament passages that proclaim material blessing for being faithful to God. I know this is a view that gets challenged over and over again in the OT, but what mostly bothers me about such passages is the way that people use them today. In a similar vein, the "Prayer of Jabez" absolutely drives me up a wall.

5. Inclusive language in biblical translation and liturgical proclamation: for, against, or neutral?

Um, neutral-ish. I recognize the need for it, especially "brothers" to "sisters and brothers", from "mankind" to "humankind", and from "sons of God" to "children of God." However, when it comes to names for God, I'm a bit more picky (though if there were a gender-neutral pronoun for God, I'd be all for it). I really do like Madeleine L'Engle's use of "El" to refer to God. But ultimately, the Bible is a product of a patriarchal society, and to treat it in its context means being faithful to that. Not that I like it very much, of course, but that's the way it is.

Bonus: Back to the Psalms--which one best speaks the prayer of your heart?

There are too many. Psalm 139 fits, along with Psalm 42.

First Contact

2007-10-11T20:05:00.000-04:00

I read a blog post at the Questing Parson the other day that really made me stop and think for a moment about local churches and how each community perceives itself as a "friendly" church - especially when it comes to visitors. I've been a part of a lot of churches that would label themselves as "welcoming", ranging from those truly hospitable to visitors, to those that are downright suspicious of them, to one that gave out the vibe of "you must conform to belong here" (not United Methodist, incidentally). My sister even told me of a church in her college town that coralled a first-year student into plugging into the church even before this individual had a chance to explore other options ("overly-friendly", perhaps?)

However, with your generic "friendly" church I have to wonder, how deep does that welcome really go? Is it driven largely by the pastor, who has the privilege of getting to know a little about every person who passes through the church doors? Or do laity take the plunge as well, asking details about the life of the newcomer, and taking care to introduce that person or family to others in the congregation (should the individual feel comfortable with it)? Do we give them gift baskets and send them on their way, or do we have them stand up in worship and have them introduce themselves to everyone? And then once people start coming regularly, does anyone take the effort to really get to know "so-and-so who has been coming for three months and is originally from Seattle and has a job in the city"?

Worship is often the first-contact a visitor has with a church, and as such, the reception of the church at its "main meeting" can retain or repel a visitor. I think this is the assumption that most churches have, and the one assumed by the igniting ministry campaign of the UMC. Our task is to be welcoming when people come through the door, no matter their background, appearance, etc..., and yes, that is the case (to a certain extent...should we really be welcoming someone who runs in with a crazed expression and an axe in her hand? Extreme...but I think you get the point).

But I don't think first contact for a visitor should be in worship...or even within the boundaries of the walls of the church. We should be getting to know people even before they step foot in the narthex. We should be out in the community, making contact with people there - through service events, community functions, and the like - learning about their lives and welcoming them then and there. We should be going to where the people are and going deep with them before they even come to worship. Then, once they take the step and come to worship, they will already be known (by at least one or two folks), and what usually is an awkward step for a visitor becomes a more natural transition into the worshiping community.

This is a shift from a church being attractional in its outreach to being more missional and intentional about the ways in which the church and its congregants engage with the community. More thoughts on this to come later...

A Tribute to Hillie Cass

2007-10-08T12:51:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, life happened this past week. I was supposed to be in Nashville this weekend for the emergingumc gathering when I found out that a long-time member of the church in which I grew up (People's UMC) passed away this past Tuesday. To me, Hillie Cass wasn't just any ordinary member - she and her husband served as adopted grandparents. I don't know if we adopted them first or they adopted us first, but throughout my childhood she would attend our high school concerts and bake us fudge for our birthdays, even after we stopped attending that church. I felt that I should be there for her funeral service. So Ben and I left New Jersey Friday morning, picked up my sister at Williams College, went to the visiting hours, and attended the funeral on Saturday morning before heading back to New Jersey for our respective church services on Sunday.

It was she who in large part instilled in me - as she had for many of those who passed through her junior choir - a love of music. We rehearsed and sang during worship every single week. We had to memorize all the music (though if the words were tough she would write them out on a huge piece of paper and hang it on the front pew so we could read the words). I learned how to sing in parts in her choir, and thus I learned to love singing alto. She also sang in the senior choir and I could tell that she loved singing as an act of worship. Her husband Malcolm played the organist at our church - for 67 years! He was the Portland municipal organist for years and years also, and the above picture was him playing the Kotzschmar Organ for the ordination service of the 1987 Maine Annual Conference and behind him is Hillie, turning pages for him as she did for almost every worship service at Peoples that I can remember.

She also had an incredible love for the kids in her junior choir. Every year, she would also throw us a huge ice cream sundae party, where I was introduced to such flavors as chocolate chip cookie dough and to those candied cherries that are a necessary part of any sundae. But this was just how she loved anybody; she had a warm and compassionate spirit that made everyone feel welcome and right at home. She treated everybody as the child of God that person was - no matter who they were.

Hillie enjoyed life, and was always full of joy. She was also very busy! She had so many activities...each one of them about serving other people. Meals on Wheels, Jr. Choir, hosting the bean suppers (to name a few). She just didn't feel right if she wasn't doing something for others. I was so excited to discover at her funeral that Psalm 139 was her favorite Psalm (because it's mine too). As the pastor mentioned in his brief sermon, Hillie definitely lived up to that standard (well, at least the first 18 verses) - she intimately knew her God...and her God knew her inside and out as well.

I'll miss her a lot. I'm very glad that she had a chance to meet Ben; we stopped to see her and her husband on the way back from our honeymoon. I hope that someday, when I'm old (or even just older), I'll be half the kind, caring, loving, generous, full of life woman that she was.

(Obituary here, Featured obituary here)

What it Means to Preach

2007-10-04T15:14:00.000-04:00

I meant to post earlier, but life happened this week (more on that in a post to come).

Preaching. What's the first image that comes to mind when you hear this word? More than likely it is a robed-figure standing in a pulpit, or someone more casually dressed sitting on a stool or walking around on stage...all talking to a gathered assembly of people.

For me, I don't get this image. My first thought is more akin to St. Francis of Assisi's statement: "Preach the gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words." I picture preaching to be more about incarnating God's love to people than it is speaking to a congregation.

So you all can probably imagine my dilemma as we are asked to write our theological context for preaching, predicated on the assumption that preaching is about verbally articulating the faith.

Hmm.

Pulpit preaching is just one small part of how we as Christians preach with our lives. We are always, always preaching - always saying something about the love of God through Jesus Christ in our actions and in the way we treat other people. I really love this line my pastor said in a sermon a few weeks ago: "It’s not when we tell people about Jesus, we’re already doing that. It’s what we’re telling them through our actions."

So in this respect, we are all - clergy and laity alike - preachers of the Word. What gives pastors special authority? You tell me. Is it more scholarly knowledge? A special vocational call? The experience of seminary? Ordination? I don't really know...all I know is that I don't think preaching (when we do it on Sunday mornings) can't just be one person speaking to a group of people.

I think preaching in the context of worship can be ritual, group discussion, art, silence, or a service project. I really love what Tim Lucas of Liquid Church in Morristown did when they canceled weekend services to go serve others. Check it out!

More and more I'm beginning to understand that preaching is more about how we live out the Word of God than anything else. Because if we - both as individuals and as communities of faith - aren't doing God's Word, then what we say from the pulpit is meaningless. Our preaching must come out of a love and a desire to incarnate God's love to a broken and hurting world. And that is what preaching means to me.

The Theological Foundation of Preaching or What is Preaching?

2007-09-25T22:01:00.000-04:00

Now that my paper is safely in the hands of my professor, I feel like I can ask this question of you all:

What does it mean to preach? Where to we derive our authority for preaching? What's our theological context for preaching? In essence...what is preaching?

I'm truly interested in hearing what you have to say before I post my own reflections on this. I had to write 5 pages, double-spaced, but I won't hold you to that same standard. ;-)

Story-Catching

2007-09-24T10:53:00.000-04:00

My church planting class recently had dinner with Tim Lucas, who is the lead pastor of liquid church in Morristown, NJ. The church is six years old, and draws about 800 people to three services on Sunday. Their worship is contemporary, and use lots of art and media to communicate their message.

One of the big ways they communicate is through story, particularly through the medium of video. Tim shared with us that he loved to tell stories about people's lives and the transformation that they find in Jesus Christ...or even telling those stories even if they aren't quite there yet. He explained a video that was going to air on Sunday about a couple and the husband's hesitations about coming to church...not just any church, but liquid church in particular. He told us that the video started out just that way, and that that moment was the hook - the crucial moment - of the whole story.

I was thinking that in seminary, at best we are taught to be story-tellers (but only story-tellers through speaking...if we're lucky, we get to be story-tellers through dance and drama. Art lags behind...as does music and film and worship). However, we're not taught to look for stories, to have that mindset, and to "catch" them in the right way. We aren't taught to have that sort of outlook where the story lies in the messiness of things and not the perfect portrait.

Perhaps this is just an issue for me; I don't consider myself to be a story-teller (though I'd love to learn a few techniques).

Anyway, now I'm just procrastinating from doing my classwork. I'll post my reflections on preaching later on...

The Apartment

2007-09-23T18:06:00.000-04:00

Setting up the apartment has probably been one of the biggest projects to date. Well, that and doing the thank you cards, which we have just started. I meant to have them finished by last Friday, but it really takes awhile to hand-write everything. Trust me, if you are waiting to receive a thank you card from us, you really want me to hand-write it instead of Ben. If he wrote them, you'd understand the general "thank you" sentiment, but you wouldn't be able to read one word.

The apartment is just about together, with the exception of the dining room, which has boxes of stuff that we plan on (1) giving away, (2) giving back to our parents/whomever we borrowed stuff from, or (3) sending back to family somewhere to store it for us for a little while. It also has a piece of furniture that needs to be finished, but before we can finish it we need a replacement part from the company (who gave us a part that didn't fit). We're still getting pictures up on the walls; we were blessed with friends who gave us really thoughtful gifts, many of which included original artwork!

Possibly my two favorite rooms are the living room and the kitchen. The living room (pictured here) is nice and open, with plenty of space. The spaces serves to deemphasize the television (which on the wall opposite the futon), and emphasize the coffee table (with the killer spider plant on it. The plant is half-dying, but at the same time springing forth new life like crazy. A metaphor for the church, perhaps?). Note our high-class candle holders for the blue candles. ;-) With the TV are two mid-sized bookshelves loaded with books and plants and stereo speakers. Other than that, it's just a bright, open, generally cheery room that we've actually tried to color-coordinate in to some semblance of something that works. It works for Ben and me, and that's all that really matters anyway.

Next comes the kitchen. I love our kitchen! It's got so much cabinet space (I was definitely struggling with Drew housing's teeny-tiny kitchens with little to no space for supplies). Even with all the space, Ben and I are rather hard-pressed to fit all our kitchen stuff here, though we've made it work by using the tops of the cabinets for things we don't use as often. Note the presence of the breadmaker on the counter (currently in use making oatmeal bread, and by tasting the dough it's going to be oh-so-delicious! Ignore the dirty dishes in the sink). Behind where this picture was taken, we have a small little breakfast nook for the two of us. To the left of this picture is the bargain deep freeze, which we got at a moving sale for $20. And though you can't see the counter because of the fridge, the counter is lined with a nice set of knives, a spice rack, some canisters, and a utensil holder.

Truth be told, we probably have more space here than we know what to do with - there's tons of extra space in the bedroom and in the living room. However, that space isn't exactly storage-friendly...but we're making it work. We're trying to go through our things and live as simply as we can...but simple living is tough with bookshelves full of books and lots and lots...and lots of candles!

Classes and Life in General

2007-09-18T10:12:00.000-04:00

I have found a little time in my morning to give a quick post and to assure people that I haven't dropped off the face of the planet (though anyone who is my friend on Facebook probably knows that already).

This is the start of the third week of school, and I must say it's a little surreal to be back, married, and in classes. Some days, it seems like nothing has changed. Other times - especially when I'm stuck in commuter traffic - it's all too real as I glower at the drivers who cut me off and think about the convenience of campus housing. Then, I give myself a little shake as I remind myself that I would not trade anything in the world - even commuting - for Drew campus housing.

The privacy and remoteness is nice most of the time. I like having a place apart from the rest of the community to which I can come home and not think about any of the Drew drama (not that anything has happened yet, but it's bound to sooner or later). However, it's sad that I can't pop-over to see my friends or have more spontaneous gatherings because I'm 35 minutes away. It makes relationships more intentional. So - to my Drew friends - if I'm becoming too much of a hermit, please drag me out and help me remember that there are other people to spend time with aside from my husband (to my husband - I love you!).

Classes are...classes. I will have a solid grounding in old-style preaching, which I'm sure will be helpful, but I'm chomping at the bit to get more out of what "Proclamation of the Word" means than just "Preaching." I see Preaching as so much more than just delivering a sermon, and if you think about it, not many people really experience the Word of God through aural stimulation alone...so why just preach sermons all the time? Call me crazy...

Ethics will be intense, and I think it will be a fantastic class. I appreciate the professor's approach, even if the readings are a bit dry from time to time. Her emphasis is on the practicality of ethics; yes, there is theory but in reality, this is stuff that we will be having to make decisions about on the ground.

Church Planting will be informative, although we'll see how deep the class gets into it. We've currently been reading a fantastic book by Alan Hirsch called The Forgotten Ways and so far, it has some great insights into the nature of the church as it currently is and where the church should ultimately be. The problem is - I'm there and on the same page. I want more of the...how do we put this into practice? What do we do? How can we orchestrate experiences to draw people into relationship? How can we make the gospel be incarnational? Where do we go from here? I hope these questions will be discussed in depth rather than have the course scratch the surface of something much deeper for me.

Those are my classes. Tuesday and Wednesday...very nice. Makes for two intense days, but it leaves my Thursday and Friday free for work and church and other errands. Monday is my Sabbath (I'm really trying to be rather millitant about it this year), and Sunday is church work day...and other small things that need to get done. Hopefully, Saturday will be errand and house-work day. We'll see if this routine holds!

Young Adults and the Church

2007-09-17T16:48:00.001-04:00

UMC.org has published an article that my husband wrote about the Gen X/Y Conference that happened a few months ago. It made the front page!

But here's the direct link to the article.

Go to his blog to comment!

(I'm so proud of him...)

Honeymooning

2007-09-11T11:40:00.000-04:00

We spent a week in Owl's Head, Maine for our honeymoon. We rented a cottage right on the water, and the view was spectacular. A good portion of each day was spent out on the deck, enjoying the fantastic weather and wonderful view. The other half of the day (when we weren't sleeping)...well, let's just say that when you don't have cable, DirectTV is a vacation in a box. We watched oodles and oodles of television - mostly sports (and the Red Sox were blessed with a good week).

We had the opportunity to have one fancy meal at Marcel's in the Samoset resort. They were expensive, but we left having had a great meal. They brought out little things to eat to cleanse the palate in-between each meal. My lobster was very yummy (if, about a fourth of the cost of the meal).

Our main adventure was walking out to the Breakwater Lighthouse from the cottage where we stayed. We thought it would be a 7-mile walk round-trip. Nope. Not so - it ended up being nearly a 10 mile round-trip walk - and I must say I was pretty sore from it the next day (not to mention sunburned despite the sunscreen I had put on!) We counted that as our exercise for the week. I have to say that the view was nice - but definitely not worth the long walk.

Anyway, I leave you all with a few pictures of our honeymoon:

This was the view we had from the deck!

Can you see the lighthouse at the edge there? Yeah, we walked all around the bay to get there...

Ben and I decided not to save the top of our wedding cake for our first year anniversary (we heard from reliable sources that it tastes like cardboard), so we opted to enjoy a piece each day over our honeymoon. Yum!

The sunrise over the ocean as seen from the deck. I won't tell you how many mosquito bites I endured to get this shot (and many others that are equally as spectacular).

This was the little cottage we had for the week. I could definitely live here for the rest of my life!

Life is Good :-)

2007-09-09T20:18:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone!

So it's been awhile - getting married and honeymooning and getting settled in and starting classes have left me fairly busy. Very very happy, but also busy. Right now, I'm averaging about a blog post per month! I'm hoping to nudge that average up very shortly.

To sum it up in short: married life is wonderful. These past three weeks have been a blessing, and while I know that we will not always be this blissfully happy, I expect that life together will be quite good.

The ceremony itself was perfect. Ben's parents officiated, and Thom, the pastor at the church where we got married, gave a very thoughtful, meaningful, and touching sermon that really involved the whole community in our marriage. Serving communion really brought that piece home as well. We had two stations - Ben and I served with friends from Drew, and it was a very sacred moment to see all these people from different points in our lives come forward to receive. That's when I felt truly married - exchanging the vows and the rings was special, of course, but it's communion that I will always remember.

The reception was great fun as well. Everyone had a good time, and knew how to party. The DJ remarked to me at the end of the night that he had never seen a crowd of people have such a good time together. We actually got to dance a little bit - kick off my shoes and have a good time - which was a welcome break from holding court (which was also fun, but in a different way). By the end of the evening, I was dead tired - as was Ben - and in those pictures we sure look it!

The official pictures haven't come yet, but I leave you with some photos that different friends took during the ceremony...

Seven Days and Counting...

2007-08-12T09:36:00.000-04:00

Suffice it to say that this summer has been busy - not unsurprisingly so when there's a wedding to plan at the end of it. However, I wasn't quite prepared with the immensity of the task and, because I was ill-prepared, didn't manage to secure wedding rings or a cake until last week. Or the DJ deposit, for that matter. At this point, all seems to be well; the big items are taken care of, the details seem to be manageable, and I plan on enjoying this last week by letting myself relax (a little), getting my nails done, and perhaps finding a place where I can get a massage without having to sell my soul and my first-born child.

The 18th is the big day! After the wedding, we'll be off to Owl's Head for our honeymoon. Hooray for the Maine coast and a cottage that overlooks the water! We have no big plans; my primary objective is to relax before classes begin on September 4th. We'll probably do some day hikes, walk along the beach, go to a nice restaurant. But I definitely won't mind staying in all day reading or watching movies.

I most likely won't get a chance to post again until after the wedding, so adios for now!

RevGal Friday Five: Books, books, books...

2007-06-15T13:48:00.000-04:00

From the RevGal ring:

Friday 5, books, books, books....

"I've just returned from a meeting in Cambridge so I'm posting this late here in the UK (it is 3:45pm).. because I took the opportunity of a free afternoon in Cambridge's wonderful book shops... I only bought a few- and they were on sale- very restrained for me!!!

So with my head full of books I've seen and a long wish list in my mind, I bring you a Friday Five on books!!!"

1. Fiction what kind, detective novels, historical stuff, thrillers, romance????

Hands down, science fiction/fantasy. I've tried to branch out multiple times, but this seems to be the genre that I get drawn back to, time and time again. It's not that I don't enjoy other genres, but when given the option to read something new, I automatically head toward the fantasy section in the bookstore or the library.

2. When you get a really good book do you read it all in one chunk or savour it slowly?

How about chunks over a period of time? I think I devoured the latest Harry Potter within 48 hours of getting my paws on it. However, I am naturally a slow reader, so even the most engrossing books take me awhile to chew.

3. Is there a book you keep returning to and why?

There are several. One is the Lord of the Rings. There is just so much in that book, and the story is so captivating. The other is the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, largely because it's just so darn funny.

4. Apart from the Bible which non-fiction book has influenced you the most?

This is a tough one, primarily because I don't read much non-fiction. There are two that I read for my Intro to Sociology in college. The first is The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman. The second is Jonathan Kozol's book Savage Inequalities.

5. Describe a perfect place to read. ( could be anywhere!!!)

On the rocks by the ocean with a cool ocean breeze (that's not strong enough to turn pages).

I have to say, this was a timely Friday Five, as the AAUW of Madison is having their huge book sale this week, and I just picked up a bag of used books. Oh, used book sales is definitely a weakness of mine...

Too liberal for the conservatives, and too conservative for the liberals

2007-06-10T09:23:00.000-04:00

There are lots of ideological stances that divide us, particularly when it comes to theology - whether or not one believes that Christ is the only way to God, whether or not one believes that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God, whether or not one believes x, y, z....you get the idea.

I've always been fascinated by the fact that in our conference, one's perspective on the homosexuality "issue" automatically lands you in one of two camps: the "liberal" camp or the "conservative" one. I think you can figure out which is which. Rarely (with few exceptions) does anything else factor into this strange sorting process. (Interestingly enough, the Institute of Religion and Democracy paints with a similar brush...if I can find the article, I'll post it here).

Part of the problem here is the labeling of people into categories based on individuals believing "this" vs. "that". Such a dualistic way of thinking I find to be inherently dangerous (as it grants humans too much power to decide who is "in" and "out"). But another part of the problem here is that...some people just don't fit.

I, for one, don't. It's not just that I'm not liberal or conservative, or that I have some "conservative beliefs" and some "liberal" ones all mixed together. I'm not even sure I'm in the middle, really. It's more that these categories don't make sense at all when applied to me, or to some others that I know. I feel as if I'm outside of the current system all together.

When it comes right down to it, though, why can't we all just call each other brothers and sisters in Christ? Why can't we all see each other as God's children - just the same as everyone else? If we have to go around defining people, why can't this definition trump them all? In the end, "liberal" and "conservative" - or even "moderate" won't make an ounce of difference. How faithfully we lived out the gospel message, however, will. And really, isn't that all that matters?

NEAC Brief Update

2007-06-10T08:45:00.000-04:00

I'd first like to thank everyone who has helped me discern about getting my name in to General. As it is, I have been elected as the first alternate (or "reserve") lay person to Jurisdictional Conference. This year, we had only 5 lay slots to General and 5 additional ones to Jurisdictional (down one each from last time).

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, depending on how you look at it), I didn't get to spend as much time as I would have liked in session because of the two "learning centers" Ben and I did (which went well). More people came than we anticipated, and everyone was engaged and asked really good questions.

So that's conference in a nutshell. Perhaps I will offer a few more reflections later; I've got a few thoughts brewing based on certain events that have transpired here over these past few days. But for now, I must leave Conference a bit early; my sister is graduating as the valedictorian from high school this afternoon!

Theological Worldview Quiz

2007-06-09T14:28:00.000-04:00

the last time I took this, I scored much higher on the Holiness/Wesleyan...

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern, You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

93%

Roman Catholic

61%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

61%

Classical Liberal

57%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

54%

Modern Liberal

50%

Neo orthodox

50%

Reformed Evangelical

Fundamentalist

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Help Me Discern!

2007-06-05T21:28:00.000-04:00

Annual Conference is only a few days away. I've been getting ready by doing lots of different things; Ben and I are doing two workshops - one on the church and postmodernity and the other on emerging worship. This means preparing presentations, and making darn sure I know my stuff (which is a humbling experience in and of itself).

However, I've also been praying a lot - for the New England Conference, for its leadership, for those who will be receiving new appointments and their churches...that sort of stuff. I've also been praying about submitting my name as a floor nomination to General Conference.

When I was looking over the names of those to be elected, I noticed a few things on the laity side (bear in mind that we get six lay delegates to General, and 12 to Jurisdictional):

1) Out of the nine people running, only one is under the age of 30.

2) Out of those nine, only one is a woman.

I feel rather conflicted, though I think in some ways I'm leaning toward submitting my name. The downsides would be traveling to the pre-conference meetings; they are held in Mass., which would mean traveling from New Jersey one weekend every couple months. I also really hesitate to play the diversity card. Although I celebrate having a diverse delegation with a variety of different gifts, it really, really bothers me when before people vote, members of AC get up to make a brief speech about how we already have three white men elected, or one black woman, but no Asian men or what have you. I feel that by submitting my name, I would be the young white woman under thirty (the only one who would run, mind you).

Although I struggle with this, I do feel like I need to make sure the voice of the young people are heard. I still love this denomination, and I feel called to help lead the United Methodist Church into the future. There appears to be some good legislation being sent to General Conference this year (http://www.gbod.org/youngpeople/connected/global/leg.htm). Granted, whether or not the future of the church includes sitting around debating legislation, I don't know. But I feel like I do have something to add to the conversation as a young person. I was elected in 2004 as a delegate to Jurisdictional, so hopefully people remember my name...

So -- there you have it. If you could help me shed some prayerful light on the situation, I would greatly appreciate it...

Cleaning out

2007-06-01T19:45:00.000-04:00

I'm in the process of cleaning out my room at home. Boy, is that ever a project! There's a lot of stuff to sift through - sometimes, 24 years worth of stuff!

One of the things I have done throughout the years is keep a large shoebox stuffed full of cards and letters and other assorted things. I went through the box today (keeping a large portion of its contents) and marveled at the number of letters and postcards that I have kept. It made me realize (yet again) what a bad corresponder I've been. So starting in the summer, my goal is to write one letter to someone each week. A letter - not an e-mail - but a letter, since I think they are much more personal.

Plus, it'll make me keep an up-to-date address book (which is always in a state of disarray).

My alma mater

2007-05-28T19:21:00.001-04:00

Isn't it pretty? I want to try and get some of my wedding photos taken by the pond. I also like this other one I took:

I want to take a photography class!

Graduation

2007-05-27T17:32:00.000-04:00

Colby Class of 2007 graduated today, and I made the trip up with my family to watch my two brothers shake hands with the president of the college and move their tassels from the right side of their face to the left. During the thirty-five minute litany of names (during which time the soon-to-be graduates at the end of the alphabet stood - something I remember all too well), I stood in the back, clapped for people I knew, and caught up with a few folks. It was nice to see so many familiar faces attending graduation (even if I did get a little sunburned).

Yesterday and today were full of graduation activities (namely, the music major reception yesterday and the ceremony today), and I had the opportunity to talk to a lot of people. Every time I go up to campus I have a whole mixture of feelings. I realize that I miss the campus a lot, but I also realize that I'm glad that I've moved on. I miss taking math and physics and music classes, and hanging out in the seminar room on the 4th floor of Mudd, perched on my screen-less windowsill (with the window open, naturally). I miss seeing the sunrise from the CCF room after pulling an all-nighter with a friend. Mostly, I miss the people and the good times we had all had.

Thinking back, I wished I had taken more advantage of the relationships with people; in general, I took people for granted in undergrad. This isn't to say that I didn't value friendships, but that I, along with probably many others, always thought that things would stay the same, and that I'd keep in touch with people I was close to and whatnot. But jumping right in to school again after graduation changes things, and schoolwork and life in a new place with new people can complicate everything. Add major life change and a job or two to the mix and it really starts to get busy.

So I've resolved to be more intentional about my relationships with people. E-mails, letters, phone calls...because really -- people shape our lives, not institutions (be they educational or otherwise). I will always remember Colby for the people and the memories.

Today's Get Fuzzy

2007-05-26T08:43:00.000-04:00

I had to share to share today's Get Fuzzy strip with you all - it's absolutely hilarious. I think my favorite is the reference to Vogon poetry...either that or the E = mc scram. Don't know which. Beautifully done!

Blog

2007-05-25T12:58:00.000-04:00

Ben's been attending the Generation X/Y Gathering sponsored by the South Central Jurisdiction of the United Methodist Church and has been faithfully blogging about his experience. I have to admit, I'm rather jealous that he's there and I'm not. I hope that when the Northeast puts on a young adult event, it'll be something like that - good speakers, and plenty of opportunities to share stories and meet people.

It sounds like things are going well there. Ben has posted a lot of quotes from the presenters, and it seems like there are a lot of good conversations happening.

RevGalBlogPal Friday Five: Hard Habit to Break

2007-05-25T09:22:00.000-04:00

1. Have you ever successfully quit a bad habit, or gotten a good habit established? Tell us about how you did it.

I used to be a nail-biter. Not a terribly bad one...but I stopped by using nail polish. Now I hardly use nail polish or bite my nails.

2. "If only there were a 12-step program for _________________!"

Procrastinators. I've gotten better...I swear...

3. Share one of your healthy "obsessions" with us.

Eating healthily and exercise has become one of the latest "obsessions" in my life.

This one isn't really "healthy" but it's "harmless". This is going to sound really silly, but...pens. I love pens. Any office supplies really, but pens in particular. I could spend hours in Staples or Office Max just looking at pens. I haven't bought any in a really long time since I have plenty already, but I just love them. Gel rollers, fountain, and fun colors are my favorites.

4. Share the habit of a spouse, friend or loved one that drives you C-R-A-Z-Y.

Well, I cured Ben of some of his bad habits back in college (I love you, dear). At the moment, nothing immediately jumps to mind...except for the standard toilet seat thing.

5. "I'd love to get into the habit of ___________________."

Getting back into my daily prayer and writing habit.

Bonus: What is one small action you might take immediately to make #5 a reality?

Since my summer schedule is going to be fairly consistent, I could wake up at the same time every day to start implementing these habits.

Bonus 2: Try it, and let us know how it goes in a future post!

Will do!

And...breathe!

2007-05-24T18:46:00.001-04:00

The semester is over, and I have been out of New Jersey since Tuesday, and I can honestly say that I don't miss it one bit. It's so wonderful to be home amongst family and friends, and staying in one spot for more than a week is very appealing at this point. There's still a lot to do - one wedding, two graduations, and annual conference (and a couple presentations to put together) - all in the space of three weeks, but on the whole it will be enjoyable and non-stressful work. I hope. :-)

It's truly amazing how fast this semester, and the whole year, has gone by. It has been challenging in more ways than one, but I believe I'm a better person for it. I managed to survive four classes, church work, and everything else this past semester...and I lived. I've learned a lot this semester - about myself, about what God might be calling me to, about things I've learned in class - that it'll probably take me awhile to take it all in. I'm good at absorption, but this semester has left my brain feeling like an over-soaked sponge in a huge puddle of water!

One of the things that excites me the most about this summer (aside from my wedding), is the chance to catch up on some reading. I have a whole list of books that I want to be sure and read: books by Brian McLaren, Len Sweet, and many others. I'm also taking suggestions, so comment if you want to recommend a book!

Coming up for air

2007-05-20T23:18:00.000-04:00

It probably wasn't the wisest plan to decide to do DCOM, move, and preach all within the same week. I've driven an estimated 1,000+ miles since last Sunday alone, and will clock another 400 this week (maybe 500 if next Sunday is included). I am tired.

Moving is a very stressful thing, even if you have a team of wonderful, patient people to help. I probably would have been *much* less stressed if I didn't have to preach, but I was the genius who decided that I could handle it. (I did, by the way...and it went well, so no worries there). I now have a much deeper sympathy for the Israelites who were in transit for 40 years, while we got all my stuff moved in to my summer place and Ben's stuff moved in to the apartment with only two car trips (with many cars). Much shopping and assembling happened yesterday (Ikea TV stand and Ikea table and chairs!), and the place is starting to look a little more lived-in. After Ben went back up to New England today, I stayed, unpacking our gobs of books. I can say with confidence that we are going to need another bookshelf. A big one.

I know there's something deep and theological in all this moving, but I'm to tired to drag it out of my brain so I'm not going to try. Instead, I am going to get some sleep, and dream for a very long time.

In the words of Jesus...

2007-05-15T22:14:00.000-04:00

...it is finished.

The semester is officially over for me, and to top it off, I was certified today!

No, no...not certifiable...though that is still up for debate. I became a certified candidate for ordination in the United Methodist Church!

So now I get to kick off my shoes, lean back in my chair, sip lemonade and watch the world go by for a little while...

haha, Right. Tomorrow is sermon time (I've got a workable idea though, so I just need to write it out), and Thursday is Drive-Back-to-Drew time and Packing-time so Friday and Saturday can be Moving-Time. But then...I get to come back home next week, so I can endure it all for a week. I guess.

Where has the time gone?

2007-05-12T14:19:00.000-04:00

I've blinked, and it's almost the middle of May. I'm up to my eyeballs in ~~papers to wri...~~ pages to write: a final exam for Religion and the Social Process and a 3000-max exegetical paper on Psalm 139. All for Monday/Tuesday. Right during DCOM. Gah.

I can't wait to get home, I am so burnt out, and I really can't offer much else interesting to say. Except, I have two more pages to go on my final before it's ready for some (major) editing. Right now, however, is break time, so I can go find the missing pieces of my brain and put them back in the (mostly) correct order.

Please, if you haven't done so already, check out http://multiculturalmethodists.wordpress.com. It would make me especially happy if you commented, or otherwise gave me some feedback. Please. It's for a class...and because I think it's an important conversation to have.

A little class project...

2007-05-10T16:51:00.000-04:00

For my multicultural evangelism project, I created a blog (http://multiculturalmethodists.wordpress.com). I want to get people (lay, clergy, and all who are in-between) talking about what it means to have multicultural ministry in the Methodist tradition. I don't mean to intentionally exclude people from other denominations, but I've really noticed in my denomination the lack of attention given to this issue. We don't have very many multiracial congregations, let alone multicultural ones. I intend for this to be an on-going conversation where people can share their stories, struggles, desire to learn, experiences, what have you. Please stop on by!

Highlights of my Day

2007-04-30T17:14:00.000-04:00

1) Not passing out while jogging this morning.

2) Being halfway done with my written response questions for DCOM.

3) Doing a little work outside the library and watching someone maneuver a remote-controlled car around the concrete. I found myself intrigued, and kind of hoping that whoever was controlling the thing would drive it into the library.

RevGalBlogPal Friday Five: What are you...

2007-04-27T08:57:00.000-04:00

1. Wearing?

Well, I'm wearing blue corduroys and a dark pink, long-sleeved shirt. It's my day off, so I don't really care. Though I'm glad I didn't decide to do this right after my workout and before my shower! (Hooray for scuzzy old bathrobes!)

2. Pondering

I've been thinking a lot about the UM DCOM questions because this week's project is getting those responses written so I can send them out. Secondly, I've been thinking a lot about multicultural ministry, how it's more than just multiracial or multiethnic, and how we as a denomination talk a lot about being diverse but we have churches that are mostly homogeneous (racially, generationally, culturally, linguistically, etc...).

3. Reading

For my own sanity, I've been rereading a bit of fiction - Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time Series. Right now, I've past where I stopped before and am now on book 10: Crossroads of Twilight. I am bound and determined to finish this series, even though it is painfully evident that the plot has collapsed under its own weight. The earlier books were better, these later ones are OK. Give me two more books, and if the series isn't over yet, I'll most likely be screaming for the main character and all associated with him to die in the Last Battle.

4. Dreaming

I've been dreaming about life after the end of the semester, life after Drew and, best of all, married life. :-) Only a few more months!

5. Eating

I have only had Dannon Light and Fit Strawberry Yogurt this morning. For lunch, I'll be eating some leftovers. For dinner, I'm feeling like it's a day for turkey soup.

Reading

2007-04-24T08:33:00.000-04:00

You know? I wish I had the time for fruitful, outside reading. I have the stuff we're required to read for class, and I try to always be reading one book of fiction just for fun, but that leaves me with little time to read books that I'm interested in vocationally or spiritually. I think I've been reading the Bolger and Gibbs Emerging Churches ever since I picked it up last year at Annual Conference. Gah. And I want to start reading some of the more spiritual classics, but where's the time?

I think that it would be fun to have a one credit seminary class that met once per month or every other week just to sit down and discuss the relevant books we've been reading. I need some accountability in my reading list!

This isn't to downplay the importance of some of the stuff I read for class. I've encountered some terrific books as a result of my classes, like A Rabbi Reads the Psalms by Magonet (and his associated book on the Old Testament). I've read books I normally wouldn't have picked up on my own - some of which I've liked, others of which I've hated. I just wish that there'd be a little space for me to read what I want to read!

Theology of Ministry?

2007-04-21T13:10:00.000-04:00

As part of our supervised ministry course, we are required to write a 10-12 page, single-spaced paper on our Theology of Ministry that covers these areas:

Pastoral Identity, including self-care.
Leadership
Theological understanding of ministry.
Vision for ministry
Implications (what courses or training do we need to take in light of what we talked about in the paper)

With some of the leading questions that they ask us to discuss in these sections, I feel as though I am hitting my head against a brick wall, particularly when it comes to (1) leadership, and (2) theological understanding of ministry.

I'm coming to understand more that ministry happens where it happens, and that more often than not, the modern church with its social club mentality is more of a hindrance than a help to creating disciples of Jesus Christ. Even a good modern church that is missionally-minded, one where disciples are made, and one that takes seriously the call to transform lives and the world...doesn't jive with what I see myself doing as a pastor. We are really taught to be chaplains in ministry - caring for those in the congregation, trying to bring more people (and more money) into the church, and trying to teach and nurture them so that they can participate more in the life of the church.

I wrestle with this. I don't think pastors and the church should simply create church-goers, and equipping the laity for ministry shouldn't just be about mentoring people so that they can organize church suppers. The church exists for the sake of those who are not a part of it - those on the margins of our communities, those who need help - because that's who Jesus would be hanging out with, hoping to transform their lives.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to have the seed of the gospel planted in a community or culture and have it grow. We are called to incarnate the gospel wherever we are, so the church in one place may look a lot different than the church in another community. We are called to be relational, as Jesus was relational, and our primary relationship is our individual and collective relationship with Jesus. We are called to be missional, as we are to be sent out into the world as opposed to waiting for people to come to us. Jesus called us to go out and make disciples. There is nothing about people coming in and becoming church-goers that give out of their pocketbook and sit and attend a worship "serve-us" for an hour.

So why I have to sit here and attempt to fill 10 pages what I can articulate in the space of a couple pages is beyond me. Though it has gotten me thinking that our modern church is pretty sick, and unless we figure out how to incarnate the gospel in postmodernity (whether that means incorporating more emerging elements into our churches, planting more churches with pastors who don't have a modern mindset, or figuring out something else entirely), our denomination is doomed.

Wesley was really on to something back in the 18th century, with his radical call to discipleship, service to those on the margins, and covenanting together for mutual growth and accountability. I may be a bit harsh in saying this, but if we can't even follow Wesley's example, Jesus' example might be a little too much for us to handle.

I miss Maine....

2007-04-14T09:40:00.000-04:00

I went to Costco yesterday and ended up buying Dole strawberries (for which I was chastised for later - I had no idea Dole was a bad company!). In any case, I just had some for breakfast. They were good, but nothing like the ones we would get at Maxwells - sweet, juicy, and oh so delicious.

I'm feeling more than a little homesick for Maine. I'll get up there in a few weeks for my DCOM meeting (insert ominous music here), and then I'll be up again periodically for two graduations, a wedding...and then I'll at least be in New England for conference. But right now, boy do I miss it!

One of the toll-takers at one of the booths I pass through on my way to church on the GSP talks to me about Maine every single time I pass through. He mentions how he visited Mansfield Stadium in Bangor and talks about Steven King. While I can't say that I've spent considerable amount of time in Bangor (i.e., never), it's nice that (a) there's a toll worker on the GSP that actually talks to people and (b) it reminds me of Maine.

I would so love to go back to Maine to do ministry. I know that's up to the discretion of God and the Cabinet, but I can hope, right?